


An Eala Bhàn (The White Swan)

by slkdfowiejsdxk (BottomBitchBarnes)



Series: The Adventures of Barnes and Noble [4]
Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alpha Steve, Cuddles, Daddy Kink, First Time, Fluff, M/M, NSFW, Omega Bucky - Freeform, Porn with small amounts of plot, Praise Kink, Pregnancy, Pregnant Sex, a/b/o dynamics, alpha/beta/omega, forced pregnancy and later forced abortion of that pregnancy, really long sex scenes, safeword use without BDSM
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-24
Updated: 2015-11-11
Packaged: 2018-02-18 16:26:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 15
Words: 23,134
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2354963
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BottomBitchBarnes/pseuds/slkdfowiejsdxk
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>the tags pretty much cover it...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Ok so I know this sounds rude but I really don't take constructive criticism well- so if you have a specific grammatical mistake, please find something you like about the story to pair your comment with to soften the blow. I really do appreciate comments- it's just that my ego is very delicate and I lose my motivation super easily. I know I'm sounding like a little kid but this story is literally my alternative to self harm so any extra stress on top of my home life really sucks. thank u uvu

A week without talking, with no experiments, and time to think. That had been the Winter Soldier’s one request upon his surrender to the Avengers. He was almost catatonic during that week, spending his time sleeping, curled up in the corner staring into space, or cleaning the plating on his arm. He never made eye contact with Steve, Bruce, or Sam when they brought him food, but nodded his thanks before poking around in it. He never ate a bite. Steve knew that he’d never eaten much, but by the fourth day, he was concerned enough that he was contemplating breaking the silence.

“Don’t you dare, Rogers,” Tony warned him when he brought it up, “His trust in us is delicate enough as it is, and we promised him silence. If you want him to trust you again, you need to just let him do his thing.”   
“But he hasn’t eaten in-”  
“I don’t care, Rogers, he’s a grown man. He can take care of himself, and if he were about to starve, he’d eat. He’ll be fine, he’s probably just not hungry or something.”

*  
*    *

Steve didn’t listen, of course. When he took Bucky his supper that night, he tapped out:  
.. ... / - .... . .-. . / .- -. -.-- - .... .. -. --. / -.-- --- ..- / -. . . -.. ..--.. (“Is there anything you need?) on the cart, to which the Soldier replied, almost immediately:  
.. / -.-. .- -. .----. - / . .- - / ... --- .-.. .. -.. / ..-. --- --- -.. (“I can’t eat solid food.”). Steve blinked in confusion.  
.-- .... .- - / -.. --- / -.-- --- ..- / . .- - (“What do you eat?”) he asked.   
.. / --. . - / .. ...- / .. -. .--- . -.-. - .. --- -. … (“I get IV injections.”), Winter responded. Steve took a deep breath.  
.-.. / ..-. .. -. -.. / -.-- --- ..- / ... --- -- . - .... .. -. --. / . .- ... .. . .-. / - --- / -.. .. --. . ... - .-.-.- (“Okay, I’ll find you something easier to digest,”) he promised. He hesitated before adding,  
.. ..-. / -.-- --- ..- / -. . . -.. / .- -. -.-- - .... .. -. --. --..-- / -.-- --- ..- .----. .-. . / .- .-.. .-.. --- .-- . -.. / - --- / .- ... -.- .-.-.- / .-- . .----. .-. . / -. --- - / - .-. -.-- .. -. --. / - --- / ... - .- .-. ...- . / -.-- --- ..- .-.-.- (“If you need anything, you’re allowed to ask. We’re not trying to starve you.”). He left before the Winter Soldier could even respond, taking the cart with him.

*  
*    *

“He _is_ hungry, Tony, but he can’t digest any of what we’ve been trying to feed him,” Steve asserted once he rejoined the two scientists and the veteran-come-support-worker in the common space. He set to work heating up some of the chicken soup he had made a few days ago.  
“You talked to him?! You realise that you could have just broken his trust, right?” Tony gawked.  
“I might have just saved him from starving. And he said no talking. I asked him in Morse. Tony, they didn’t feed him that entire time. He said he only had IV injections, no food. For seventy years. Is there even recovery from that?” Tony and Bruce shifted uncomfortably in their seats.  
“You can try some broth, but I would leave it at that for now. And don’t let him eat too much, his body probably can’t take too much food right now. Especially because he’s off of his heat suppressants for the first time in forever, too,” Bruce advised. Steve nodded and took Bucky the soup.


	2. Chapter 2

A week later, the Soldier still wasn’t saying much to anyone but Steve and occasionally Natasha, but at least he was able to eat almost as much soup as Natasha normally would. He participated in group training with gusto, correcting Steve’s posture and showing Sam and Wanda where the gaps in their positioning were. (Any time Steve fell, was pinned, or was threatened in literally any way, the Soldier was there to pick him up or stop whoever it was from leaving a single scratch on him.) He made the mistake once of trying to point out a flaw in Natasha’s stance, but backed down after she proved quite efficiently that she was capable of taking down an assailant, even at the awkward angle.  
“Теперь я могу постоять за себя, Джеймс, я уже не маленькая девочка, которую ты тренировал,*” she growled.  
“Прости, Наталья, но, думаю, я все еще вижу рыженькую, которая не могла попасть в цель с шести футов,**” he teased, and flipped off the wall toward the imagined threat of the day. Natasha tore off after him, and the two of them had a bit of a competition to see who could put more damage on the robot Tony had whipped up.

*  
* “I can stand up for myself now, James, I’m not the little girl you trained anymore” in Russian (corrected by the lovely freckleKaren)

** “Sorry, Natalia, but I still see a redhead who couldn’t hit a target from six feet away,” in Russian (also corrected by freckleKaren- Many thanks!)

*                         *

 All that was fine and dandy, and for the most part he was accepted by the team, dubbed James because he wasn’t Bucky anymore, but he really wasn’t the Winter Soldier either- Except in some ways. James kept six knives on his person at all times, including sleep. And though, more often than not, he was making progress with the team, having conversations of increasing length with everyone, some days he was 100% Winter. On those days, he curled into himself in the closet of Steve’s room, his face buried in Steve’s shirt from the day before, scared to face the rest of the team in case he lashed out. Steve always let him have a little while to himself before he went to him on those days, holding him close and calling him baby. And every time he touched him, James’s hand flinched toward the bowie knife on his thigh and made him sob even louder.

On those days, James couldn’t speak. He never said a word to Steve or Natasha or Clint, who he was getting pretty close to as well. The only words that ever came out of his mouth were the soft lullabies that Steve’s mother used to sing to them when they were kids, the Gaelic swirling around her tongue like the faerie language she claimed it to be. Steve never spoke much to James on those days, but sang with him, stroking the hair from his eyes and tucking him under his chin. The songs, it seemed, were the only things James remembered of Sarah- But the rest of his memory was returning, so Steve hadn't given up hope.

 _“Siúil, siúil, siúil a rún_  
_Siúil go socair agus siúil go ciúin_  
_Siúil go doras agus éalaigh liom_  
_Is go dté tú mo mhúirnín slán...”*_

Steve wanted so badly to tell James that he was loved, especially on those days, but he knew he’d be pushing it. So he settled for taking the best care of him that he knew how to, staying close on bad days, backing off on worse ones, and making sure he had everything he needed.

 *  
* “Go, go, go my love;  
Go quietly and peacefully.  
Go to the door and flee with me,  
And may you go safely my dear,”  
in Irish Gaelic (traditional song: composer unknown)  
  
*                              *


	3. Chapter 3

Then James hit his first heat since returning, and _God_ , it was intense. Apparently, living in close quarters with three alphas, with frequent visits from a fourth, could do that. He retreated to his bedroom for the week, trying to keep himself sated enough to function. Clint, being an omega and close enough to James that it was unlikely that he’d be maimed, was the one who brought him food and generally ‘checked up’ on him.  
“He’s asking for you, you know, Steve,” Clint told him on the second morning over breakfast. Steve sighed and looked at the floor.  
“What do you want me to do about it? I- I can’t see him hurt again, Clint. God forbid that I’d be the one to hurt him... I can’t.”   
“ _Can’t_ , or _won’t?_ He’s in heat, Steve. It’s going to hurt him more if you don’t go to see him than it will if you do. Whether you’re actually bonded or not, you’re his alpha. You need to make him feel wanted, or he’s gonna be completely miserable. I know how it feels- Not that it’s Tasha’s fault, she didn’t know- but trust me, it’s shitty. Go talk to him.”

*  
*     *

“James? You alright?” Steve called through the door a few minutes later.  
“Steve?” James whimpered from the other side of the door.  
“Yeah, James. I’m coming in, if that’s alright. I’ve got painkillers and ice packs for you, and a sandwich if you’re up for it.”  
“Okay.” Steve opened the door and slipped in, placing the tray he had been carrying on the side table by the door. He smiled and looked over at James, who was curled up on top of the sheets wearing nothing but boxers.  
“You gonna be okay?” he asked, earning a grimace from James. Steve chuckled under his breath and sat on the edge of the bed. “Guess that answered that question. Hungry? Thirsty?”  
“Not really hungry, but some water would be nice. Thanks, Steve.” Steve smiled and brushed a stray hair from his eyes before getting up to grab him a glass of water and some (ridiculously) quick-action painkillers Tony and Bruce had developed for Steve.

“Here, take these. They’ll help, but they’ll probably make you a bit dopey. Do you want me to stay for a while?” James nodded as he took a sip of water with the pills.  
“Yeah, alright. Can’t stand a day without me, huh Rogers?” he mocked with a grin.  
“Yeah, I guess not, huh?”  
“‘D be lost without me.”  
“Yeah. I was,” Steve murmured with a sad smile.  
“Oh, shaddap, ya sap. You’re goddamn Captain America, you can deal with missin’ one dumb omega... Man, and I thought I took all the stupid with me,” James lamented.  
“Get some sleep, James, you’re getting delirious,” Steve insisted gently. James furrowed his eyebrows.  
“Nuh uh,” he pouted. Steve sighed.  
“James, you have to sleep-”  
“Mmm, no. ‘M not James. Nobody even asked if I wanted to be James. ‘M Bucky. Don’t call me James, it’s a grandpa name,” he mumbled, repeating his exact words from the day they had met.

“C’mere, Stevie, it’s cold, you’ll catch a flu,” he continued, holding his arms open. Steve stripped down to his briefs and laid down next to Bucky, gathering him into his arms.  
"Love ya, Buck,” he mumbled into still-too-long hair. Bucky sighed contentedly and held him closer.  
“Love you too, Stevie. Y’know that, right? Y’know you’re my best guy.”  
“Yeah, Buck, I know. You’re always lookin’ out for me, huh? You can relax now, though, okay? I’m big enough to look out for us now. I’m gonna keep you safe.”  
“I never deserved you, Stevie. You’re too good for me.” Steve kissed the top of his fevered head.  
“Go to sleep, sweetheart, I’ll be right here, alright? And we’ll talk properly when you wake up, okay?”  
“Mmkay.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok this one's a lot longer than the other ones...  
> I very nearly got cavities writing this they're really cute  
> enjoy!

“Steeeeve,” Bucky practically shouted a few hours later after the painkillers wore off, poking the impossible-to-wake supersoldier beside him.  
“Steve, wake up, we’re going fascist,” he tried. No response.  
“If you don’t wake up, I’ll go poke Banner in the eye with a fork,” he threatened, causing Steve to spring up in alarm, smacking their foreheads together and glowering at him.  
“Bucky, if you do, so help me I’ll-”  
“Calm down, I was just trying to wake you up. Did you bring any more of those painkillers?” he inquired with a barely-concealed grimace.  
“Yeah, but those ones’ll just knock you out again. I’ll see if there are any of the non-drowsy ones, okay?” Steve offered, getting up to look through the various pill bottles Tony had supplied him with.  
“Okay. You sleep alright?”  
“Yeah, right up until the point where I thought I was gonna have to evacuate Uptown Manhattan to save them from a rampaging Hulk. You have to work on that, Buck.”  
“Well, you weren’t responding to the fascism threat, that used to work.”  
“Mm, well fascism isn’t really as much of a big deal as it used to be. Try 'Thor ate all the peanut butter' next time. I’d rather deal with Barton being mad than Banner. You feelin’ any better? How’s your head?” Steve asked, sitting on the edge of the bed with a dose of painkillers.

“My head’s fine, it’s mostly just cramps. Like when you’re really, really hungry and eventually you just feel like shit from being empty. Except it doesn’t go away when you eat,” Bucky explained after dry-swallowing the pills, trying to find a comparison that Steve would understand, seeing as he didn’t have the same biology.  
“Any way to get rid of them?” Steve asked.  
“Well, I mean, the last time, which was _years_ ago, mind, one of my commanding officers got me pregnant to shut me up, but the anxiety I got made them force me to abort the baby late-term- But- I think it was the environment,” he hastened to add. “I’d be better, if I got pregnant again.” he mumbled.  
“I don’t doubt it,” Steve asserted, looking cautiously into his eyes. Bucky smiled slightly and nodded in thanks for Steve’s confidence. “Alright. I’m gonna go get us some breakfast and we’ll talk on a full stomach. Sound good?”

*  
*    *

Breakfast over with, Steve laid down next to Bucky and pulled him closer so Bucky was half-lying on his chest.  
“You know I love you, right?” he began, waiting for Bucky’s nod before continuing. “And you know that I don’t need you to be the same as you were before, that I’ll stick with you no matter what.”  
“Yeah, I know, Stevie,” Bucky affirmed.  
“And you know that I would never force you to do anything you didn’t want to do, and you’re free to punch me or whatever if what I’m about to suggest isn’t in line with your view of me.”  
“Steve, c’mon, it can’t be _that_ bad. Just spit it out,” he coaxed, knowing how Steve avoided topics when he felt awkward.  
  
“Yeah, yeah, alright, I’m getting to it. You know I’m bad at this stuff, Buck, I’m just not used to these kinds of conversations. But… I guess what I’m trying to say is that I love you. I know you know that, but I mean it in a different way than I used to think I did. I mean, obviously you’ll always be my best pal, but I was wondering if you might maybe want to take it in a different direction, or something. I dunno.”  
“Jesus, you really are bad at this, aren’t you? You could just ask ‘Hey, Buck, I’d like to court you, is that okay?’. You don’t have to overcomplicate things, ya dummy,” Bucky teased.

“Can I?” Steve asked, his worry creasing his brow as they sat up. Bucky smiled and smacked him upside the head.  
“Fucking finally. Steve, you dunce, I woulda married you right now, or, you know, eighty years ago, if you’d asked outright.” Steve let out a breath he’d been holding for nearly 90 years and fell back onto the bed with his hands behind his head.  
“So all that time, I coulda been kissin’ you? How come you never said anything?” Bucky laid his head on Steve’s chest and huffed.  
“I was dropping hints right, left, and center, I’m surprised you didn’t trip on ‘em, Stevie. Besides, a lady never makes the first move! I’m scandalised that you would think that of me, honestly, Captain Rogers.” Both of them laughed at that, and Steve placed his hands on Bucky’s waist, feeling him breathe.  
  
“I missed you, ya jerk.”  
“I’m sorry.”  
“No, I am. I should’ve reached farther.”  
“Then you would’ve fallen too, asshole.”  
“At least then I could’ve broken your fall.”  
“Along with every bone in your body.”  
“Some things are worth hurtin’ for, Buck.”  
“I know. That’s why I joined the damn army in the first place. I figured if I fought hard twice as hard as a man had any right to, they wouldn’t need to send you over there to die too. Punk.” Bucky dug the fingers of his right hand into Steve’s ribcage gently, just enough uncomfortable pressure to reassure him of his continued presence.  
  
“I love you, Bucky.” Steve whispered, holding him closer as his voice shook. “I love you so much, I… I couldn’t believe the world kept spinning without you for it to revolve around. I didn’t- I don’t- want it to, Buck. Never again.” Bucky’s fingers dug deeper. “I thought I was going back to you, when I crashed that plane, you know.” His fingernails drew blood.  
“You can’t die, Stevie, or the world really would stop spinning,” Bucky choked. Steve’s fingers found their way into Bucky’s hair, twisting it into braids as he kissed the top of his head.  
“I know, baby, I know. I’ll be more careful,” he promised.  
“I love you too,” Bucky mumbled, “Sorry I've always been such an ass about saying it.” Steve just shrugged.  
“I figure if you didn’t, you would’ve let me die ages ago. I know you love me, so it doesn’t always have to be out loud if you don’t want it to be.” Bucky twisted around to look at him.  
“I do, though. I want to scream it so everyone knows exactly who I belong to, and that you belong to me. I have since forever. It’s just that I’m still completely terrified, and somewhere along the line, I thought it would be a good idea to equate emotion with weakness. Or that might’ve been HYDRA, I’m still on the fence.”

“Can I..?” Steve trailed off, the backs of his knuckles brushing Bucky’s cheekbone. Steve swallowed.  
“Can I kiss you? Is that okay?” he asked. Bucky blinked, nodding, before leaning down and ghosting his lips over Steve’s.  
“I love you,” he whispered, and kissed him softly for a second, not breaking eye contact.  
“I _have always_ loved you,” he continued, followed by another soft press of lips,  
“And I _will always_ love you.” This time, he didn’t pull away from the kiss, letting Steve part his lips and gently cup his face as his eyes slid shut. They kissed slowly, the kind of sweet that, had he not been in the middle of it, would’ve made Bucky want to puke. As it was, he nipped at Steve’s lips and let himself relax for the moment.

“ _Bucky,_ ” Steve breathed as they parted- even super soldiers needed air eventually. “I- _Bucky_. Bucky, you’re _alive._ You’re _here_ with me. Bucky, I missed you so much. _So much._ ” he whispered the last part as his voice started to thicken. Bucky laid down next to him and coaxed him so they were in the position they always took up when Steve’s asthma had set in around mid-October. Steve pressed his face into Bucky’s neck and clung tight to him, somehow making himself tiny again. Bucky pressed kisses into his hair and helped him breathe, both of them taking comfort in it though it was no longer necessary, and Bucky now had one less arm than he needed to do it properly, the prosthetic abandoned by the bedside.  
“Yeah, Stevie. I’m right here. Gonna keep you safe, right? Safe and warm, right here with me. I’m never gonna leave you alone again, sweetheart, I swear. You’re so good to me, Stevie, taking such good care of me. Lemme return the favor once in a while, huh?” Steve nodded, and the tears he’d been holding back came flooding forward.

“I missed you so _much_ ,” he sobbed, burying his face in Bucky’s neck. Bucky just kissed him and reassured him that it really would be okay, he wasn’t going anywhere.  
“Hey, Stevie.”  
“Yeah, Buck?”  
“Remember that first time you got a real good look at me after the serum? Remember the first time I told you you could draw me ‘cause you could finally see colors properly?” Steve sniffed.  
“I’m never gonna forget that, Buck. You’re so beautiful, how could I? It was so embarrassing going through my old sketches and seeing how badly I’d messed up the color of your eyes after that. Or your lips. Actually, that was worse. I thought they were brown, before.” He’s still hiccoughing slightly, but he’s calmed down considerably, Bucky’s distraction doing its job. “You’re gorgeous, Bucky. Most beautiful dame I ever laid eyes on.” Bucky laughed, a hard thing that really couldn’t be called a laugh, but there it was.  
  
“I am not, don’t flatter me. Peggy woulda been a better wife for you, a good proper dress-wearing omega.”  
“Don’t sell yourself short, Buck. Where’s the narcissist I fell for all those years ago, huh? Besides, you wouldn’t be able to keep up with me if you were in heels all the time. I wouldn’t have it any other way.” He kissed just under Bucky’s jaw, careful and soft.  
“You’re such a sap, Stevie. You’re just saying that so I don’t feel bad.” Steve smiled.  
“No, really, I wouldn’t be able to recognise you under the makeup and frills. Which you're free to wear if you want to, it's just that I can't imagine it'd be comfortable. And besides, more omegas than not nowadays have stopped caring so much about what alphas think of them, so you'll fit right in. I’ve always thought it was attractive on you.” Bucky gently rubbed Steve’s back and squirmed so they were at eye level with each other.  
“You gonna be okay, Stevie?” he asked, kissing him softly.  
“Yeah, Buck. Long as you’re here.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PORN. LOTS. HAVE FUN. (Also some more cavities next chapter)

“Can I make a deal with you?” Bucky asked a few mornings later, at the start of the ‘Please-fuck-me-alpha-i’ll-give-you-such-healthy-children’ part of his heat.  
“That depends on the terms,” Steve asked, smelling it on him.  
“You fuck me so hard I can’t walk straight for a week, and I’ll let you take care of me for the rest of our lives. And I’ll even throw in kids and a white-picket fence for the low, low price of making me feel like a whore and letting me call you daddy. Pretty good deal if you ask me. Win-win for both of us.”  
“Buck-”  
“Please, Stevie? I can’t take any more of the syrup you call sweet talk.”  
  
Steve chuckled at that and shifted them so that he had Bucky pinned under him, his arms and legs trapping Bucky’s.  
“What makes you think you'll be walking anywhere?” he asked, leaning in so that his lips brushed over Bucky’s jaw.  
“Want me to mate you, sweetheart? Get you all full of my come and knot you so good there’ll be no chance in hell you’re not pregnant?” he murmured as he trailed his hands up Bucky’s waist, sitting back on his haunches. Bucky bit his lip and nodded, eyes closed.  
“You need to talk to me, Buck, or I’m not doing anything. I don’t trust myself to know your limits, and I’m _not_ going to be one of those alphas who just take what they want from their mates. We need to come up with a word in case things get too intense for one or both of us. You use that word, or I use it, we stop right away, okay?”  
“Okay, Steve. Brooklyn?”  
“Brooklyn, then. Or ‘no’ in English, German, French, or Russian. Any other languages you might slip into?” Bucky shook his head. “Okay, baby,” Steve breathed, kissing Bucky’s forehead.  
“Please, Alpha,” Bucky mock-whimpered, wrapping his arms around Steve and raking his nails down his back, drawing blood with his right and bruising with his left.

It was the damn ‘Alpha’ that did it. Steve’s stomach fluttered and he froze for a minute before crashing his lips against Bucky’s, letting his left hand come up to cup his jaw. His right, meanwhile, trailed back down his omega’s torso. Steve bit Bucky’s lip and sucked it red before breaking away to look him in the eyes.  
"Gonna be good for me, my sweet Omega? Gonna let me slide right in, gonna be nice and wet for me?"  
“Please,” Bucky panted, his pupils blown. Steve kissed him slowly, almost gently, and slid his boxers off. Bucky shuddered and moaned softly as Steve trailed his fingers over his entrance.  
“Please, Steve, I want you in me. C’mon, bet you fill me up so good, bet you fit just right, daddy, daddy please, I wanna come on your knot,” Bucky pleaded when they broke for air. He could already feel himself getting embarrassingly close.

“You want me to finger you open first, sweetheart? Make you nice and loose and wet for me so I can pound you into the mattress like the dime whore you are?” Bucky threw his head back as Steve’s fingers danced over his hole.  
“Already wet for me, sugar? Such a slut for it, I hardly even had to touch you.”  
“Daddypleasedaddydaddyplease…” Bucky chanted, his eyes sliding closed. Steve kissed him again, swallowing his moans and tangling the fingers of his free hand in his hair.  
“You ready, Buck?” he asked to make sure. Bucky nodded, his face drawn with pleasure.

Steve chuckled and kissed Bucky again and again as he slipped two, then three, fingers into him. Bucky moaned and pushed back against Steve’s fingers, taking them to the last knuckle easily. Steve twisted his fingers, searching… He knew he had found what he was looking for when Bucky’s back arched off of the bed and a deep breath rewarded him with the sweet seduction of Bucky’s sex pheromones. Steve thrusted a few more times and pulled his fingers out and licked them clean, moaning at the taste of Bucky’s slick.  
“Mmm, you taste amazing, Buck. You want me to lick you open instead? Bet you’d get even more wet for me like that, wouldn’t you? Think you could come from just my tongue?” Bucky nodded and dug his fingers deeper into their grip on Steve’s shoulder blades.

“‘Yes, Alpha, I can come from whatever you decide to give me’, Buck. Beg me nicely like the slut you are and I might even let you come more than once before I fuck you. If not, I guess I’ll have to go in like this- which isn’t nearly relaxed enough to make you comfortable,” Steve warned him.  
“Please, Alpha, I can be good, I promise. Please let me come on your tongue, daddy, I’m all nice and wet for you, nice and open to take your tongue, Alpha, I just need to be a bit more wet to take your knot, please, I don’t want to tear and make you mad at me.”

Steve could see Bucky beginning to slip into the submissive attitude that he had never displayed before, not once. He shook his head, startled, and sat back on his heels, scared by how much he was playing the part of the alpha just as much.  
“Brooklyn! Jesus H. Christ, Brooklyn. Hey, Buck. You still there? You need to come down a bit for me, okay, Starlight?” he asked, still shaken.  
“Alpha?” Bucky whimpered as Steve pulled away from him slightly.  
“Bucky. Where are we?”  
“Home.”  
“Fair enough, but where’s home?” Bucky blinked at the question.  
“With you, Stevie.”  
“Okay, and what’s the word in case I do something you don’t want me to?”  
“...Brooklyn?”

“Good. Can we take a breather please? I feel like I’m losing myself here, and I don’t want to hurt you.” Bucky nodded and sat up beside him, taking a deep breath.  
“You know, you have no business being that good at that, Steve. I thought you were a damn virgin,” he mock-whined, coming back to himself a bit.  
“Well, I was, until about five seconds ago. Or does it not count unless penetration happens?” Steve pondered.  
“Oh my God. Steve, is this gonna be your first real knot?”  
“With a partner? Of course. I was going to save it for marriage, but I never got a chance to propose, so I guess that’s out the window.” Bucky rested his forehead on Steve’s shoulder and sighed.

“You would’ve been such a good omega, Steve, it’s a cryin' shame.” Steve scoffed and ran his fingers through Bucky’s hair.  
“Yeah, but then you would’ve died in Austria, you idiot. Can you imagine if I had been an omega, too, on top of everything else? Not even Erskine could have considered me for the program. Besides, if you had been the alpha out of us, you would’ve tied yourself to every dame in a five-mile radius.”  
“Would not! Just because I used to flirt a lot doesn’t mean that I would’ve actually done the deed. I’m a virgin too, you know.”  
“I thought you said one of your commanders assaulted you?” Steve asked, his voice going soft. Bucky kissed his shoulder before answering.  
“Mmm, no, no, he got me pregnant. Artificial insemination. Remember when you had to do all of those samples and stuff after the serum?”  
“Yeah…?”  
“HYDRA wanted the perfect supersoldier, just like you, but with the alterations Zola had made to my makeup, too. They were already infiltrating the American army, so they just took some of those samples that had been frozen, and got me pregnant with them. And even if they hadn't, I wouldn't have counted it. Honestly, if it had been that bastard’s kid, I would have begged for an abortion. But Steve… I thought I was never gonna see you again. I couldn't remember who you were, but I hoped for months that she’d be just like you, so much that I started lashing out at my ‘superiors.’ So they killed her. They didn’t even let me see her.”

Steve stiffened briefly and turned to face Bucky, gathering him into his arms.  
“I love you, Bucky.”  
“I love you too, Steve.”  
“Is that shithead still alive?”  
“Of course not, I took him out before I surrendered. Nice and slow and painful.” Steve held him a little tighter and kissed his forehead.  
“I’m sorry that that happened to you. And I’m sorry they made you give her up. I can’t make it better, and I can’t undo that, I know, but I can sure as Hell make sure nobody gets the chance to hurt you or our babies like that again. I’m gonna keep you safe, Buck.” Bucky pulled back a bit to look at him.

“Yeah, okay, but don’t think for a minute I’ll be staying home with kids while you’re off kicking ass.”  
“Wouldn’t dream of it. Except maybe while you’re pregnant or recovering.”  
“Pregnant’s okay until I start showing.”  
“Fair enough. Unless there are complications, I don’t want you to be in pain.”  
“Alright, can we stop talking about pregnancy now? I’d really rather think about how I’m gonna get there in the first place. You okay now, or do you need a couple more minutes?” Bucky asked, already kissing a trail up Steve’s throat. Steve swallowed.

“I think I should be good,” he reasoned, and took Bucky’s flesh wrist in his hand, bringing it to his mouth to suck at the scent gland. Bucky moaned softly and sucked a bruise to Steve’s throat, watching as the skin returned to creamy pale within seconds. He traced over the spot with his free fingertips, noting that the skin was still wet, before sucking at it again. Steve moaned and gently moved them so they were lying side-by-side, trailing his hands down Bucky’s sides as they sucked and re-sucked marks into each other’s skin. “Bucky,” he breathed over the most recent mark, making Bucky shiver. Steve’s heart swelled at the tiny sound that escaped his lips and nipped gently at his skin before pulling away to look at him. He still had bedhead, and a confused expression on his face. Steve didn’t think he’d ever been more beautiful than in this precise moment.

“I love you, Bucky. I love you so much,” he murmured against his lips as he shifted to be over top of him again.  
“I love you too, Steve,” Bucky managed to choke out as Steve shifted his focus to suck a line of bruises down his abdomen. He found his fingers winding into blond hair as Steve marked each of his hips and the insides of his thighs.

“You ready?” Steve asked, settling between his legs. Bucky nodded and pulled at Steve’s hair as he spread his legs, pulling his knees up.  
“Please, Steve,” Bucky whined, and let go of Steve’s hair to thread their fingers together. Steve squeezed his hands and licked gently over Bucky’s hole, his tongue flat. Bucky’s grip hardened and he cried out, a soft almost-moan as his legs tightened around Steve’s shoulders. Steve took the encouragement and licked a bit harder, his tongue dipping _just_ inside to taste Bucky’s slick.  
“Steve!” Bucky yelled, his hands gripping harder. Steve winced his right hand away from Bucky’s  left.

“Hey, gotta be gentle with me, okay? I’m not made of vibranium, contrary to popular belief,” he reminded him gently. Bucky loosened his grip and brought Steve’s knuckles to his lips.  
“Sorry, Stevie,” he apologised, kissing each joint carefully.  
“Here, I’ll hold on to the bed with that hand, I don’t want to hurt you by accident.”  
“Good plan.”

Steve squeezed tighter with the remaining hand and kissed his partner’s hip gently. He pressed a trail of kisses down his thigh and around to his perineum, then licked down to his hole. He licked and sucked gently, feeling Bucky’s muscles loosen under his tongue. Bucky relaxed gradually, moaning beautifully and calling Steve’s name every few minutes as he let the sensations wash over him. Then Steve pushed two of his fingers in alongside his tongue, stretching him just a _little_ bit more, and when they glanced off of the little bundle of nerves like they had earlier, Bucky was gone. His vision went white and he was vaguely aware of screaming before everything went dark.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like I should mention that although I portray abortion very negatively in this chapter, I am pro-choice. Which is why I portrayed it negatively. Bucky wasn't given a choice, and because of that, his abortion was probably the most traumatizing thing HYDRA did to him. I am in no way trying to shame those who have had to make that decision, nor am I shaming those who choose not to. I personally wouldn't get one, but it's none of my business if somebody else does. That being said, I hope I'm not offending pro-lifers by putting this note up. I just don't see how it's anyone else's business.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a short chapter today, but believe me when I say that the next chapter is fucking MASSIVE. Enjoy this little tidbit for the meantime!

When he came to, Steve was stroking the side of his face and kissing at his pulse points.  
“Hey, starlight. You okay? You passed out for a few minutes there.”  
“Mmmm. I feel fuzzy.” Steve giggled at that and gently kissed his lips.  
“It was alright, then?”  
“Fuckin’ fantastic, Stevie. You sure you were a virgin?” Steve smiled against his neck.  
“Only one omega for me, you know that. I’ve had to put up with two Starks, though, so I was bound to learn something through all the comments.” Bucky groaned.

“Great, ‘cause I wanted to think about those two right now. God, Stevie, timing.” Steve hummed and kissed his jaw.  
“Sorry, babe. Although, Tony did have a good idea last time I talked to him. Said I should get you a collar. Nice gold one, like the ones the dames from 5th avenue used to wear.”  
“Stevie, you can’t spend that much money on me, we can’t afford that shit.”  
“Like Hell, I can’t. Do you know how much the government owes us in veterans’ checks? We could buy that house with the white-picket fence and still have enough left to spend on nice things like that collar. I wanna treat you good, baby, let me.” Bucky huffed.

“Fine. But nothing too flashy. Keep it simple.”  
“Of course. It'll be the picture of tact.”  
“Under a hundred grand.”  
“Two hundred.”  
“Hundred and fifty.”  
“Little bit over?”  
“Fine. But if Stark has to pick up the tab, I’m gonna kill you.” Steve chuckled.  
“That’d be quite an accomplishment.”  
“You wouldn’t stop me.”  
“Point taken,” Steve admitted. Bucky kissed his cheek.

“I love you.”  
“That’s twice today already, Buck, do I have some life-threatening illness or something?”  
“Nah, not that I know of. I just wanna make ya happy, that’s all. Gotta make sure you don’t run off with some pretty, young thing.”  
“Bucky, _you’re_ a pretty, young thing. And you’ve got no competition anyway. I’ve only ever loved you, you know that.”  
“Okay, Stevie. I know. I just don’t really feel like sharin’.”  
“Mm. maybe you should put a collar on me, too. Let everyone know I’m yours.” Bucky smiled.  
“You don’t need to do that, I know, you know. Who else cares?”  
“I’d like to, though. I love you, Buck, and I’m yours as much as you’re mine. If you’re going to be mine outwardly, I’ll be yours, too.”

“Can we have a ceremony? Proper one?” Bucky asked after a pause. Steve held him tighter.  
“Of course, starlight. God, Buck, look at us. I was so scared, before, I thought you’d find some big, strong alpha and leave me behind. Or worse, that I’d fuck up and knot you and find out you hadn’t wanted me to. Bucky, I love you so much, baby, I’m so glad we can be together.”


	7. Chapter 7

Steve woke Bucky up from the start of a nightmare the next morning by kissing his temple gently and massaging his scalp. Bucky sighed and leaned into his touch but stiffened and sat up a moment later as cramps flooded his abdomen.  
“Bucky? You okay?” Steve asked, sitting up and hugging him loosely. Bucky nodded, but cringed.  
“Yeah, my body’s just mad at me for not being pregnant yet,” he choked out, teeth gritted.  
“Here, let me get you more painkillers, sweetheart,” Steve offered, kissing his shoulder. Bucky shook his head and grabbed his wrist.  
“Please just stay,” he asked gently, placing Steve’s hand on his stomach. Steve got his meaning quickly and raised his eyebrows.  
“You sure about this, Buck? I don’t want to hurt you,” he asked for confirmation, gently massaging the general area of Bucky’s uterus. Bucky leaned back against him and sighed.  
"It’s my considered opinion that you’d be helping more than hurting. Unless- I mean, you don’t have to feel pressured to. I’m just saying I want to- Christ, who am I kidding, I’m in heat, Steve, please just fuck me.”  


Steve smiled and kissed at his scent glands, just above where the bond bite would be in a few minutes. He gently pulled Bucky up so they were leaning against the headboard back-to-chest. He gently worked over the sore muscles of his shoulders and pressed more kisses into his skin and hair.  
“You’re the light of my life, Bucky. My beautiful mate, most amazing person I’ve ever known,” Steve whispered as his hands moved lower, rubbing out the knots in Bucky’s lower back. He pressed one more kiss to the scarring where Bucky’s left arm was usually connected before grabbing the massage oil from the side table and whispering,  
“Lie down for me, please? On your front.” Bucky complied and moaned a minute later as Steve’s hands made him forget for a minute about every bad thing that had ever happened to them.  
“You’re so good to me, Stevie,” he sighed, a dopey smile on his face and calm pheromones flooding the air around him. He could feel the slick starting to make him feel squishy.  
  
“I’m gonna take such good care of you, Starlight, I promise. Gonna make sure you never want for nothing. And I’m gonna spoil our babies rotten.” Bucky’s stomach fluttered at the thought of children in the foreseeable future. He reached around for Steve’s hand and gripped it tight, smiling into the mattress. Steve pressed a kiss right between Bucky’s shoulder blades and squeezed his hand.

“You ready, darlin’?” he asked.  
“Yeah, Stevie, I’m ready.” Bucky confirmed softly, turning his head to catch a glimpse of Steve. Steve leaned over him and kissed him before sliding his hand down his back to grip his ass. He peppered kisses over his shoulders, noting each mark- He remembered some of them- for instance, the jagged scar under his right shoulder blade from when Jimmy down the street tried to take advantage of Bucky, using a broken beer bottle as a weapon. Jimmy had ended up with a black eye and a broken nose. But Steve knew that most of Bucky’s scars were from corporal punishment, and he hated that.  
  
“I love you, Bucky.” he stated it like it was the world’s only truth- which, to him, it was. He gently nudged Bucky so that he was lying on his back and grabbed two pillows- one for his head, the other for his hips.  
“I love you too, Stevie,” Bucky murmured, reaching up for Steve and brushing his cheekbone with his thumb. He brought Steve’s face down closer and kissed him gently. Bucky moaned and bit Steve’s lip as he arched his back towards him as Steve's first finger slipped inside. Steve kissed him over and over again as he fingered him, making sure to brush his prostate every so often and to scissor his fingers to make sure he was well-prepped enough to take his knot. Bucky whimpered every time, his hips arching up and dripping more and more slick.

“Stevie… Daddy, please, lemme… Lemme come on your knot, please, daddy, I’ve been a good boy for you, haven’t I?” Steve’s breath catches as he hears the words that tumble from his baby’s mouth and he kisses him before responding.  
“Yeah, starlight, the best. My sweet, sweet little boy, aren’t you? The best there is, saving yourself up for me like that, make me the luckiest alpha in the world. Such a beautiful Omega, gonna give me the prettiest babies, gonna be the best momma, aren’t you? You take such good care of me, baby, please stay with me. I’m always gonna love you. Always.” He stroked the side of Bucky’s face with his right hand, withdrawing his left from where most of it had been working Bucky over from the inside. He sucked his fingers clean after slicking up his cock and entwined their fingers. He pressed his lips to Bucky’s neck as he pushed inside, slick heat almost too much already.

“Mmmm, baby, feels so good,” he praised, stroking his fingers through Bucky’s hair as he started to thrust. Bucky was biting his lip, his head thrown back to show off the pale, unmarked column of his neck. Steve licked his lips, noting how beautiful Bucky looked beneath him, filing away the precise curve of his mouth, the way his eyebrows were slightly furrowed as though Steve making love to him was the best thing that had ever happened. Steve’s heart swelled a bit with each tiny gasp, and broke a little with each breathy moan.

“Daddy, daddy, feels perfect, daddy, fill me up so good, Stevie, ohhhh, ohhhh, I’m- Stevie, I’m gonna--” and Bucky came with a muffled scream, muscles clamping down around Steve and biting his wrist where it was offered to him. Steve’s eyes widened and he felt his knot start to swell, restricting his movements. He squeezed Bucky’s hand gently and kissed the skin of his neck before sinking his teeth in, deep enough for a lasting scar. His knot swelled to its full size and he felt more than heard Bucky’s gasp as he filled him up with come. He nearly collapsed onto Bucky, his arms starting to go out under him, but rolled them at the last minute so that Bucky was straddling his waist, head on his chest.  


“How was that, baby? Okay?” Steve asked a few minutes later when they had caught their breath. They were idly stroking each other’s hair, exchanging lazy kisses.  
“Stevie, if sex with you is gonna be this good every time, I might just keep you chained to the bed. Seriously. That was fuckin’ incredible,” Bucky replied with a moan. Steve smiled and stroked a hand down Bucky’s back, gently but protectively.  
“Has your neck stopped bleeding?”  
“Yeah, I’m fine. Better than fine. I feel great. Your wrist?”  
“Still bleeding a bit, you bit me pretty hard.”  
“Sorry, daddy.”  
“That’s okay, Starlight. Just means you want me all to yourself, right? I’ll wear it with pride.” Bucky smiled and kissed him under his jaw.  
“Hey, Stevie?” he asked.  
“Yeah, Buck?”  
“We’re gonna be parents.”


	8. ~*~PLAYLIST TIME~*~

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This isn't actually another chapter, but I thought I would put up the playlist I've been listening to while I work on this! Enjoy!  
> WARNING- THE LINK DOES NOT OPEN IN A NEW TAB AUTOMATICALLY. PLEASE RIGHT-CLICK.

[Listen here](http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLlJLNV2VfKi_Ixz9CA1NFhWpyPWmJK7aq)

Playlist (Song title- Artist):

I'll Cry Instead- The Beatles

La Valse D'Amelie- Yann Tiersen

Comptine d'une Autre Ete (with violins and cello added by another artist)- Yann Tiersen

Say Something- A Great Big World

Give Me Love- Ed Sheeran

Swingin' Tune- Black Cat Zoot

Honey, Honey- The Milk Carton Kids

The Ash and Clay- The Milk Carton Kids

New York- The Milk Carton Kids

Home- Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeroes

Yes It Is- The Beatles

21 Guns- Green Day

Alabaster- Oh Susanna

Back Dirt Road- Oh Susanna

I Will Follow You Into The Dark- Death Cab For Cutie

All My Lovin'- The Beatles

All Those Years Ago- George Harrison

American Idiot- Green Day (OOPS MY FINGER SLIPPED)

The Times, They Are A-Changin'- Bob Dylan

Love Letters- SayWeCanFly

The Bridge- Oh Susanna


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a short one- Sorry. I realized that the next chapter (Which was supposed to be part of this one) was getting to be monstrous, so I cut this part to go before.

By the next afternoon, Bucky’s heat was in full swing, all rational thought a footnote, if it was present at all. He had woken Steve up by kissing him and rubbing his ass over Steve’s cock, which was well on its way to being fully erect by the time he opened his eyes.  
“Good morning to you too, Buck,” he mumbled.  
“Please, Alpha,” Bucky moaned, his hand wandering over Steve’s chest and thumbing at his nipple.  
“You want my knot, huh, baby?” Bucky nodded and bit his lip. Steve smiled and leaned up to kiss him. "Gonna sit there like that all day? Go on, sweetheart. Be a good slut for your Daddy." Bucky keened before reaching behind himself to angle Steve's cock. The quick slide in was almost too much for Steve to take. "Oh! Buck..." he trailed off, letting his hands come to rest on Bucky's waist. Bucky leaned down, not so much _kissing_ Steve as just panting into his mouth.   
"Alpha..." he whined, grinding down hard. Steve moaned softly into his mouth.   
"It's alright, baby. I'm gonna fill you up, right? I'm gonna put so many babies in you. Gonna take good care of our family, I promise," he whispered.   
"Please, Alpha, fuck me. Fuck me, _please._ _ **Please**." _ Steve bit Bucky's lip gently and flipped them, ploughing roughly into his mate.   
"You gonna come for me?" he asked, pinning Bucky's wrist above his head. "You gonna make a mess for Daddy?" Bucky nodded, grinding his hips down and coming hard on Steve's rapidly-swelling knot. "Oh, good boy, baby. What a good little slut. You want my come, huh? You greedy for it?"   
"Yes! Yes, Daddy, please fill me up, I'll be good! I'll be so good!" Steve's eyes rolled back in his head and he came, burying his face in Bucky's neck. 

*  
*   *

When Steve's knot went down, the first thing Bucky said was, "More." Steve sighed.  
“Can we have something to eat first, please, Starlight? I wanna breed you up real good, fuck you even more full, but I gotta make sure you’re taken care of first, alright?” Steve asked. Bucky pouted but climbed off of him and let him get dressed enough to go to the kitchen for food.  
“Do you want that weird sugary cereal?” Steve asked, not sure what Bucky would want. Bucky shook his head.  
“French toast?”  
“Not hungry.”  
“I’ll put nutella on it if you promise you’ll at least try some.”  
“Okay.” Steve kissed his nose and went out to the kitchen to cook breakfast.

*  
*   *

“Oh, my God, guys, he lives!” Tony called to Natasha and Clint when he saw Steve getting the eggs and milk out of the fridge. Steve grinned.  
“I’m just getting breakfast. God, Bucky’s a picky eater. The only things I used to be sure he’d eat while he was in heat were bananas, but some weird shit happened to bananas while we were gone.” Tony snorted.  
“Man, he’s got you on a short leash already. I thought he was going by James now?” Steve shrugged.  
“He asked me to call him Bucky. I dunno about everyone else. And he does not, I just like taking care of him. It's not like he’s coercing me into doing anything.” Natasha stepped into the kitchen and leaned against the wall.  
“God, you reek of heat, how far in is he?” she asked, holding her nose mockingly.  
“He’s in the thick of it right now, he’ll be done in the next three days, I think. He’s always had long heats like this, poor guy.” She scoffed.  
“You have no idea what ‘long’ is, Rogers. One time, Clint was in heat for a month and a half.”  
“Was not, it was three weeks, at the most!” Clint called from the other room.  
“Crap, are we out of bread?” Steve asked rhetorically as he rifled through the bread basket looking for the white bread Bucky loved so much.  
“Just use the rye, it’s better for him anyway,” Tony suggested.  
“Nah, he won’t eat that. I’ll just make omelettes, I guess.”  
“Good luck getting him to eat vegetables.”  
“I never said I’d put vegetables in them. He’d never eat it. Tomatoes and bacon, tops.”  
“Alright, Spangles, we’ll leave you to your cooking. You and Barnes are invited to dinner on Friday, if he’s snapped out of it by then. Have fun, stay safe, and if you’re gonna get him pregnant, let me know so I can get you set up with a good doctor.” Steve nodded.  
“I think Bucky actually wanted to go the midwife route. I’ll ask. Thanks, by the way, Tony.”  
“Yeah, no problem.”


	10. Chapter 10

When he returned, Bucky was trying his best not to whine at him as he rubbed himself against the mattress. A mixture of slick and come was starting to leak slowly out of him from their earlier escapade.  
"We're out of bread, so I made you an omelette. I'd like you to try it, okay?" Steve asked, sitting next to him on the bed. Bucky wrinkled his nose almost imperceptibly but let Steve feed him, being obedient in hopes that cooperation would get him fucked faster.  
"You full?" Steve asked about halfway through- he knew Bucky hadn't been all that hungry to begin with, and the last thing he wanted was to turn him off yet another food by force-feeding him. Bucky nodded and Steve set the tray aside, having eaten in the kitchen earlier.  
“I love you, baby,” he murmured, cupping Bucky’s jaw and kissing the corner of his mouth. Bucky smiled and tugged at Steve’s shirt.  
  
“Too many clothes,” he insisted and began kissing at Steve’s throat as the alpha unbuttoned his shirt and slid it off of his shoulders. Steve held him closer, trailing his hands over lean muscle.  
“You're so good to me, Buck. My sweet baby boy, aren't you? So beautiful, all for me, just perfect. I can't believe you're all mine, Starlight, I'm so, so lucky. Gonna take care of you now, fill you so full of my come you won't be able to move, fill you up with our beautiful babies, so pretty, just like their mama." Bucky whined at that and tightened his grip on Steve's shoulders. Steve gently stroked the side of Bucky's face with his right hand and kissed him, letting his free hand trail down to lazily finger Bucky open.  
"Mm, so nice and wet for me, babydoll, so ready to take my cock. You want it bad, don't you? Little whore for my knot? Bet you'll take all my come and beg me for more, won't you? Perfect little bitch, come so pretty for me every time." His right hand slid down to Bucky's throat and trailed over his bond bite.  
  
"Mine," he growled low in Bucky's ear, and it was a pledge- To keep him safe and love him as long as he lived. Bucky sighed and leaned into the touch, reaching up to trace Steve's bonding scar.  
"Yours," he agreed, letting his instincts take over as he relaxed. Steve slid out of the jeans he had thrown on earlier and spread Bucky's knees wider.  
"You want me to fuck you again now, baby? So wet for me, so good. My beautiful little whore, won't you beg for me? You're so pretty when you're desperate for my cock." Bucky moaned and cupped the back of Steve's neck, lying back against the headboard and tilting his hips in invitation.  
"Please, daddy, please fuck me, 'm so empty without your cock filling me up so good, 'm all nice and ready for you, take your knot so well, I swear. Give you such pretty babies, look just like you, so gorgeous. I need- daddy, please, can I have your cock? I've been your good little boy, haven't I?" Steve kissed him, nice and slow, as his fingers pinched at his nipples.  
"Of course, baby, how could I say no to that? So polite, asking me so nicely, and so well-behaved last time. Gonna give you what you need now, Starlight, fill you right up. Words?"  
"Brooklyn, wait, zhdat', warten, attender, no, nyet, nein, et non."  
"Good boy. Don't forget to use them, okay? I don't ever want to hurt you." Steve kissed him softly and guided his cock inside him.  
  
Bucky moaned loudly, head tilting back and biting his lip like last time. Steve sucked bruises into his jawline, whispering encouragements between languid thrusts.  
"So beautiful, baby, so nice and wet to take my knot, feels so good, Buck, so good. You're a gift, you know that?" Suddenly he was sitting in that Chair again, a man whose voice sounded like an uncle's or a grandfather's telling him he didn't know Steve, and that he had to kill him, a smile spread across his face sickeningly.  
"Zhdat'," Bucky choked. Steve froze, unsure whether Bucky wanted him to pull away completely or not. Bucky pulled him close a minute later, hand clawing at his back. Steve took a deep breath as he realized Bucky was crying.  
"Hey, Buck, it's alright. I've got you now, you're safe, sweetheart, nobody's gonna take you from me again. I'm not gonna let them." Bucky just shook his head and held him closer.  
  
"пожалуйста, не называйте меня так. он назвал меня так.*" he gasped.  
"It's alright, I've got you, I've got you, we're safe, Buck. Do you understand what I'm saying?" Bucky nodded slowly and pressed his face into Steve's neck, letting his scent reassure him.  
"He- He called me a gift. Pierce. Please don't call me that, I'm sorry," he sobbed. Steve rubbed circles on his back gently and started to pull out, his thoughts having shifted far away from sex the second he knew Bucky wasn't feeling safe. Bucky hitched his thighs around Steve's hips and just whispered,  
"Please don't go." His voice broke mid-sentence and Steve felt his heart break, so he cradled Bucky closer and rocked him as best as he could.  
"I'm never gonna leave you, Buck. They'd have to kill me before they could make me leave you alone, especially now. It's gonna be alright now, we've got each other, and I'm always gonna love you, Bucky. Always." Steve was starting to feel a bit awkward, to say the least- the movement he had taken up was beginning to cause his dick to harden again, and he was still inside Bucky, but right now, finishing what they'd started didn't really seem like a viable option. He cleared his throat.

"Hey, Buck, I gotta take care of this, okay? I'll be right back, I swear. I want to take care of you, make you feel safe. Breaks my heart, baby, seein' you like this, I just gotta take care of this so I can help you. I'll be right back." But Bucky just tightened his grip on Steve and rocked his hips upward toward him, sending sparks flying through Steve's vision. They both moaned, Steve's tapering off to a growl.  
"I need you, Stevie, need you to hold me close just like this and tell me you love me. Need you to be a fucking dumbass punk and get hurt so I can worry about you. But you know what I really fuckin' need right now?"  
"What, baby, anything at all, I'll get it for you-"  
"You to fuck me. That's what I need right now." Steve blinked before shaking his head and pulling out, despite Bucky's fierce attempt to stop him.  
"No, Buck. I'm not going to do that for a while." Bucky bit back a whine and pouted at him.  
  
"No, Bucky, you listen to me. I'm not gonna ignore the fact that I triggered you just now. I love you, okay, and I want to help you get through this, and if the only way to make you believe that you're worth my time is to scream it in your face until you pull your head outta your ass and listen to me, then I fuckin' will. There's no way that you could possibly think that what just happened was okay. We're gonna take a breather for a few minutes, alright? After that, we'll make time. But I'm not gonna treat you like less than me. And I want you to use my name, too, please. The 'daddy' thing is gonna be a bit too much, I think." Bucky nodded, knowing resistance was futile, and flipped Steve over onto his back so that he could curl up in the middle of his chest.  
  
"I'm sorry," he murmured, lips brushing his alpha's collarbone. Steve's hands gripped his right bicep and left ribs.  
"Don't you ever, ever apologize for feeling anything, Buck. That's nothing to be sorry for, especially after all the time that you weren't allowed to. I love you, and I want to keep you safe, so you telling me what you need is the best thing that could happen in a shitty situation. Thank you for trusting me again, Starlight.” Bucky shivered and tucked himself closer to Steve, pulling the covers up around them.  
“Why do you keep calling me that?” he asked, clarity coming more easily after flashing back.  
"My Ma used to call you that when we were kids. We'd never seen starlight, then, 'cause we'd never left the city, but I remember the first time I saw the night sky without the city lights, and I saw all that space and the purple light, and you were the only thing I could think of. I guess I just always think of you like that. If you want me to stop, I can, though," Steve offered. Bucky shook his head.  
"No, I like it. Just wondering. I wish I remembered your Ma, Stevie. Sounds like I loved her." Steve kissed his hair.  
  
"I figure you did. She sure did love you, told me if I didn't marry you, she wouldn't bother meeting my wife. Said she'd adopt your husband to be her son instead of me. She said to me, one day, she says, 'Stevie, my love, that Barnes boy's going to grow into a fine omega someday, and you'd be a fool not to court him. The best thing a person can hope for in this world is to marry their best friend, and he’s a good one, even if he's not as feminine as the world would have him be. A good, strong lad like that will give you brave, healthy babies. A strong mother means strong children, and that's where your dear father, God rest his soul, was an arse. If he'd have courted my brother instead of me, you'd have nothing to worry about. But that boy of yours is a fine one. You just wait and see.' Of course, at that point, being seven, I stopped listening." Bucky grinned at the Irish accent Steve affected so easily.  
  
"Can I call you solnishka?" He asked softly.  
"Well- what does it mean?"  
"It's a diminutive of sunshine." Steve smiled.  
"'Course, Buck. You okay?"  
“Starting to be. I’m sorry, I should’ve told you. Also, please don’t call me an asset, if an occasion comes up. That’s what they called me. Probably Natasha, too, though she’d never outwardly show if it affects her. Alpha pride, or something." Steve held him closer and kissed his temple.  
"Are you okay, Stevie? I know you're putting on a brave face or some such bullshit, but this can't be easy for you, either." Steve chuckled.  
"Are you kidding me? I have you back, Bucky, what more could I possibly want? I mean, I get that you're never going to be the same again, but in all honesty I'd be more worried if you were. Oh, how are your cramps, by the way?" Bucky waved his hand.  
"I'll be fine. Of course, I'd be better if you'd get me pregnant already, but I'll be okay."  
  
Steve swatted his shoulder gently.  
"You jerk, you probably already are."  
"Obviously not, or I wouldn't be so horny!" He laughed, like he hadn't just had a flashback.  
"You know what, Buck?"  
"What, Stevie?"  
"I think I might be in love with you."  
"You know what?"  
"What?"  
"I think I might love you too."

*

*"Please don't call me that. He used to call me that." (Referring to Pierce calling him a gift).

*            *


	11. Chapter 11

Steve laid back and moaned, deep throatiness reverberating through Bucky's fingers as his hands cupped Steve's ribs. He repeated the action that had caused the moan, kissing the head of Steve's dick before tonguing at the slit and swallowing him down to the root.  
"Buck..." Steve moaned, turning his name into a prayer as his fingers wound into brown hair. Bucky hummed around his cock, just to hear the strangled cry he knew it would pull from him.  
"Bucky, unless you stop right now, I'm not gonna last long enough to knot you, and you're gonna end up with a face full of gross." Bucky, to his credit, tried valiantly to keep from grinning, but allowed his teeth to graze the skin. Steve just groaned and pulled at Bucky's hair.  
"C'mon, Buck, want you so bad, baby, let me have you, please?"

Bucky finally let up and spread his hands over Steve's chest as he kissed a trail from his hips to the base of his ribcage to the hollow at his collarbone. He mouthed gently at the skin and crooned to him.  
«Je ne pense pas que tu veux mon corps très bien, ma chérie. Demande à nouveau bien et que je pourrais penser à votre problème.» Steve groaned. Languages.  
«S'il vous plaît? J'aime vous faire sentir bien, la lumière des étoiles, pas vous s'il vous plaît laissez-moi? Je pourrais vous faire sentir si bien, ma chérie, si vous voulez bien me laisser.» Bucky grinned against his skin, loving his current control over his alpha.  
«Oui, c'est ça, le soleil, prie pour moi. Tu es si jolie comme ça, n'est-ce pas? Tellement désespérée de me faire du bien. Dois-je vous laisser, Stevie? Laissez-tu prendre soin de ton bébé douce?» Steve looked up at him hopefully.  
«Oui, oui, s'il vous plaît, Bucky. S'il vous plaît laissez-moi prendre soin de vous, je vais vous remplir, ma chérie...» Bucky huffed.  
«On va voir,» he murmured in Steve's ear and climbed off.

("I don't think that you want my body very much, darling. Ask nicely again and I might think about your problem."  
"Please? I love making you feel good, starlight, won't you please let me? I could make you feel so good, sweetheart, if you'd just let me."  
"Yeah, that's it, sunshine, beg for me. You look so pretty like that, don't you? So desperate to make me feel good. Should I let you, Stevie? Let you take care of your sweet baby boy?"  
"Yes, yes, please, Bucky. Please let me take care of you, I'll fill you up, sweetheart..."  
"We'll see.")

"What was that, Buck, Québécois? Didn't sound like the French Dernier taught us," Steve noted as he kissed Bucky's cheek and jaw, hands trailing over his abdomen.  
"I had an assignment in Montréal a few decades ago. Never quite shook the dialect. French Canadians are infectious. And terrifying."  
"Okay, I need to hear this story." Bucky waved his hand dismissively.  
"Sometime when I'm not dying from lack of pregnancy." Steve chuckled.  
"You okay? In a good place and all that?" He asked as he let his fingers dip lower. The look on Bucky's face was tranquil, if aroused, lower lip red between shock-white teeth and dark lashes brushing cheekbones.  
"Yeah, Stevie, I'm good," he sighed just before Steve slipped three fingers inside him. The stretch was barely there, Bucky still being prepped from that morning, but he moaned regardless as Steve's other hand came up to cup the back of his neck. Steve rubbed his fingers gently over Bucky's prostate and Bucky couldn't even try to muffle the scream that escaped  his mouth.

"I love you so much, Bucky. Are you gonna let me take care of you now, starlight? Be my good boy? My sweetheart, gonna fill you up with come, aren't I? Gotta make my baby feel good," Steve whispered the words into the skin behind Bucky's ear. Bucky shuddered and stretched his neck up to let Steve kiss him there.  
«Je t'aime aussi,» he breathed. Steve curled his fingers into Bucky's hair, lips hovering a centimetre apart.  
«Vous êtes si belle, m'amour,» he whispered into his mouth. Bucky stretched up to kiss him but he moved away. Bucky whined.  
«Attends, je veux essayer ceci pendant un moment.»  He hovered over his lips as long as he could stand to, with Bucky biting his lip and looking like a kicked puppy. A few minutes later, when Bucky looked like he was about to cry, Steve drowned him in kiss after kiss, whispering sweet things about what a good boy his Bucky was, how gentle and kind, and how very loved.   
«Je vous adore, Bucky. Tu es la seule chose qui me maintient en vie sur quelques jours. Je t’aime plus que le monde, ma chérie.» Bucky smiled a little at that and nuzzled into Steve's neck.  
«S'il vous plaît me faire l'amour, Stevie, me faire sentir comme la plus jolie dame dans le monde. Tu sais comment se me faire sentir si belle,» he murmured, running his hand up Steve's ribs gently. Steve shivered, a small moan escaping his lips.  
«Tu es, chérie, tu es. Il y'a n'a pas un en le monde qui est plus belle de tu. Je sait ça. C'est vrai.»  

("I love you too."  
"You're so beautiful, my love,"  
"Wait, I want to try this for a minute."  
"I adore you, Bucky. You're the only thing that keeps me alive some days. I love you more than the world, my darling."  
"Please make love to me, Stevie, make me feel like the prettiest dame in the world. You know how to make me feel so beautiful."  
"You are, sweetheart, you are. Nobody else in the world is more beautiful than you. I know that. It's the truth.")

He kissed Bucky gently and slipped his fingers out of his body, quickly replacing them with his cock. Bucky moaned, loud and broken, arm splayed above his head, as Steve seated himself fully inside him.  
"Ohhh, baby, baby, so good, nice and wet for my cock, aren't you?" Bucky grinned at the praise as Steve stroked the side of his face. Steve started to thrust gently and pressed his thumb down on Bucky's tongue. Bucky sucked on the digit and wrapped his legs around Steve's hips to drag him deeper inside, wrenching a moan from his chest and causing a line of bruises to bloom dark over his ribs where Steve gripped him a bit too tight.  
"I love you, Solnishka, I love you so much," he murmured after dropping Steve's thumb from his mouth. Steve groaned and kissed him hard again, like a drowning man gasping for air. He coated his mouth in kisses and sucked at his lips, leaving them and the surrounding area bruised and swollen and beautiful.  
"I wish I could draw you like this, baby," he whispered. Bucky took a deep breath and sighed before responding, clearing his head.  
"The sooner I'm pregnant, the sooner you can," he tried to snark, but his voice was still too soft to be taken seriously. Steve kissed the smirk from his lips, tugging softly with his teeth. Bucky moaned quietly and arched his back toward Steve. "Stevie," he murmured against his lips. "Stevie, you're so beautiful, look at you. Look at you, baby, you take such good care of me. I'm so in love with you, Solnishka, you have no idea. 'Ve always loved you, an' I'm always gonna." Bucky started to babble a little incoherently. Steve smoothed his hands down his omega's sides, pinning him at his hips.  
"I think I have a fairly good idea," he allowed, "Assuming you love me as much as I love you." Bucky smiled at that.

"I wish we'd done this when you were smaller," he admitted. "I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm glad you've got a body to match your Irish temper now, and the muscles really do it for me, but I miss being able to bundle you into my arms to keep you warm. And I miss the angles. But I didn't think you wanted me. You deserved better, anyway. Still do." Steve kissed his forehead, sighing.  
"I was nothing then. To be honest I don't know if I would've been able to knot you, I never even knotted at all 'till after the serum." He began to thrust a bit harder now, hands gripping Bucky's thighs to hold him in place. "Definitely wouldn't've had the stamina for this," he pointed out. Bucky hummed appreciatively and let his head fall back, his breath catching occasionally in tiny, broken moans. "Also, what's all this 'better' bullshit you keep spewing? Who the Hell's better'n you, Buck?" Steve asked, concerned about Bucky's self confidence.  
"Peggy." Steve breathed out hard and stilled his hips.  
"Buck- I don't know how to tell you this so you understand. I don't want Peggy. I didn't during the war, and I don't regret now that I didn't bond with her. I've only ever wanted you, ya dope. I just thought you thought I was into girls, or that you didn't want me, so I was getting ready to take second best. I've always wanted to raise a family with you, Bucky, I want to have beautiful pups and a white picket fence and a dog. I want to grow old with you, see you smiling at me in the morning every morning for the rest of my life, see you get more and more beautiful with each passing day. I want to help you through all the shit you've got to bear, and help you shoulder some of that weight, and I always wanna have your back in every fight. I want to hear you laughing at me for putting cream and sugar in my coffee, or for wearing reading glasses, or for somehow setting fire to every single cake I try to bake in this century. And I want to be able to make love to you and make sure you know how beautiful you are every day for as long as I live."

Bucky snorted.  
"Steve, you fucking sap, that sounded like wedding vows or some shit." Steve nosed under his jaw gently, taking in the cedar and tobacco scent of him (the first time he had smelled cedar, while training at Camp X in Ontario, he had quietly proclaimed that it smelled like Bucky, because he was a Brooklyn boy and had never laid eyes on a forest in his life- he kept a bundle of it on him through the rest of the war).  
"There's kind of no reason to have a wedding at this point. I mean, we're already bonded, and you're the only person who needed to hear that. Obviously we'll still have a collaring ceremony, baby, but weddings are damn expensive. And by the way, no matter what you say, I happen to know you're always thinking up a speech or two, so don't you dare call _me_ a sap, James Buchanan Rogers."  
Bucky's stomach fluttered at that, and he noticed Steve's eyes widening.  
"Say it again," he demanded,  taking hold of Steve's left hand.  
"James. Buchanan. Rogers," Steve growled possessively, looking into Bucky's eyes in a way that made Bucky fear that he would be eaten alive. He moaned and pulled Steve closer, urging him to resume what had been put on pause earlier as he rocked his hips in a wide circle. The sound that ripped from Steve's chest was bordering on inhuman as he started to thrust irregularly, deep and strong but of varying speed as he sucked bruises into Bucky's jaw, then more to his lips.  
"Mine," he practically roared, teeth bared and muscles rippling as the sudden realization, in combination with Bucky's heat, finally triggered a rut.

"That's right, Stevie, all yours. Never gonna belong to anyone but you, Solnishka. Never gonna leave you again. If they take me, I'll claw my way back to you, can't be without you again. Not now. You must love me so much, you're gonna breed me up real good, huh, Stevie? Gonna fuck me into the mattress 'till we break the bed, then do it on the floor. Mmmh, Daddy, want you to fill me up over and over again, so full that if I stand up, your come will run down my leg, Stevie. Would you lick it up? Or would you feed it to me? Or maybe you'd feed me from your mouth. Mh, I think I like that idea best. You want to come in me every time you come? Anywhere else would be a waste, baby, anywhere other than my ass or my throat is a waste. I'll be your good little boy, even let you knot my face if you ask me real nice. You wanna see me choking on your cock? Lips stretched around your knot? Bet you'd nearly drown me in come, wouldn't you, sweetheart? Would you like that? Fill me up on both ends? Make me taste my own slick on your cock? I want you to so badly, Daddy, I can't breathe with it."

Steve's fingers just dug harder into Bucky's ribs as he picked up the pace, slamming home harder and faster and leaving Bucky breathless and whimpering.  
"Daddy, it feels so good, so good, Stevie." He wound his fingers through Steve's hair and kissed him gently, lips barely ghosting over each other. He reached down to stroke himself, feeling himself getting closer, but Steve swatted his hand away.  
"You're only allowed to come on my knot from now 'till the end of this damn heat," he growled. Bucky whimpered, clinging for dear life as the taller man continued his brutal pace. Steve started pressing feather-light kisses to his cheekbones, jaw, eyelids- anywhere but his lips.  
"I love you, Stevie, I love you so much," Bucky breathed. Steve, whose mouth was now busy abusing Bucky's right nipple, sent out a massive wave of protective pheromones, strong enough to make Bucky lightheaded. Bucky cradled Steve's cheek in his palm, stroking his temple gently.  
"Daddy, please, fill me up, I need you. I need to come, Daddy, please, need your knot stretching me so good, gonna- gonna-" and he moaned beautifully as he came, soaking the sheets in slick.

"Look at you, Buck, so pretty. I'm gonna come in you so many times tonight, I'll have to use one of those stupid plug things on you so it won't all leak out. You want that, sweetheart? Want me to trap all my come inside you even after my knot goes down?" Bucky nodded meekly as his body twitched in afterglow while still being fucked.  
"I'm close, baby, so close," Steve gasped. Bucky clamped down around his alpha's cock just as his knot swelled to full size.  
"Don't loosen up too much, I want to feel all of you," Steve warned before starting to push his knot in. Bucky screamed, trying to be good.  
"Stevie, it hurts," he cried, his face twisting. Steve stroked the side of his face gently, sucking kisses to his lips.  
"Shh, shh, shh, it's alright, baby boy, you're doing beautifully. You feel so good on me, sweetheart, just gotta hold on for a few more seconds and then I promise it'll be better. I'm gonna take care of you, right? Mm, so tight, Buck, so good for me."

Bucky had tears streaming down his face, really more from the concentration than from the pain, but he was whimpering the entire time Steve spoke. He shouted as the last inch was forced into him more quickly than the rest, then moaned at the fullness pushing against his rim. Steve pushed a little further, just to see Bucky squirm, before rocking his hips in and out gently as he came.  
"I love you, Stevie, thank you for taking care of me. Thank you, Alpha." Steve rolled them over so that Bucky could curl up under his chin.  
"I love you too, starlight. Love you so much, I'm so sorry I hurt you, are you okay?" He kissed his forehead gently.  
"Yeah, Stevie, I'm fine. Built for this, remember?" Steve smiled and held him closer to press a kiss to his hair.  
"Another round in a couple of minutes?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I've been thinking, and I want to write a slave AU in which Bucky and (skinny) Steve are both Omegas in an adoption agency (Think sexy humane society, they're not actually that cruel at the shelter but their previous owners were). Thoughts?


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YYYYYYYYYYYOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I'M BACK!
> 
> Sorry about the month-long hiatus for this!! Shit hit the fan, two people died (natural causes, don't worry) and a birthday was had, so I've had very little time to write! 
> 
> AAAAAAAANYWAYS, Enjoy! ~*~YOU KNOW THAT THING YOU'VE PROBABLY BEEN WAITING FOR? IT HAPPENS!~*~ *throws rice and confetti in the Barnes-Rogerses' faces*

Bucky laughed, really laughed, as Steve pinned him to the bed with his left forearm and tickled his ribs with his right hand.  
"Steve, quit it!" He choked, trying to force his face to a more neutral expression. "Quit it, Steve, I'm gonna piss myself!" He yelped, trying to make a more convincing case. Steve smirked, but laid off, sitting back on his haunches.  
"Bathroom, Sarge. Then we'll continue." Bucky took a minute to calm down before going to the ensuite, pausing at the door to mock-salute Steve.  
  
"We should really shower at some point, Cap," he called as he washed his hand, intent on keeping the military nicknames going for as long as he could. "I mean, no offence, but you smell like a week's worth of raunchy sex. And your breath is pretty bad, too."  
"What, you think yours is any better? At least I've gotten up a few times to brush my teeth," Steve jabbed as he entered the ridiculously large bathroom (thanks, by the way, Tony). "Shower sex?" He asked as he crowded Bucky against the counter, hands resting lightly on his hips. Bucky leaned back against him, feeling the weight of Steve's erection against the small of his back.  
"You know me too well, Rogers," he muttered. Steve smirked.  
"You mean just well enough."  
"Alright, yes, but we do actually need to get clean. I mean it. And the sheets could stand changing. How about you do that while I get the hot water going, babe?" He fluttered his eyelashes at his alpha as he twisted himself around and out of his embrace. Steve cocked an eyebrow at him.  
  
"Hot water doesn't take that long anymore and you know it," Steve reminded him. Bucky sighed.  
"Okay, fine, I wanted to shave. Happy?" he snapped. Steve looked at him, confused.  
"Shave what, your face? Because to be honest, I find the stubble pretty sexy." Bucky shifted his weight uncomfortably from foot to foot.  
"I meant my pubic hair. 'S unladylike." Steve huffed.  
"Buck, you're not a little kid anymore. There's gonna be some hair there, and that's okay. Nothin' wrong with that. I mean, it's totally up to you if you _want_ to shave, but I think you're hot as Hell either way. Just for the record." He trailed his hands over Bucky's sides, resting on his ribs. Bucky leaned forward into Steve's embrace, cheek resting on his chest.  
"Just wanna be pretty for you, Stevie," he murmured into his skin.  
"Bucky, you're a fuckin' bombshell. Don't let anyone tell you any different." Steve ran his hands over Bucky, cataloguing which scars hadn't quite healed well enough to lie flush with the rest of his omega's skin.  
  
"How about we make a list, baby? A list of all the things you're insecure about with your body. And then we'll burn it, like we did the one time when I was all skinny." Bucky nodded against his chest. "For now, how about we get in that shower? Make you feel better, babe, I swear. 'M gonna make sure you know how gorgeous you are." Bucky smiled and wrapped his arm around Steve, pulling him closer.  
"What'd I ever do to deserve you, Stevie? You're so good to me."  
"You beat Rosie O'Connor up when we got in a fight with her, first week of 1st grade," Steve mumbled into his hair. "And ever since then, I can't for the life of me get rid of you. Except for that one time, but I don't think that counts. And of course I'm good to you, Buck, I can't have you realising what a fuckin' meatball I am. That'd put a bit of a damper on my plan to keep you all to myself."  
"What was that fight even about?" Bucky asked, frowning with the concentration of remembering.  
"She tried to tell all the other alphas that you let her kiss you. I called her out on it and told you what she’d said. I don’t think I ever saw you that pissed off about somebody insulting you again.”  
  
Bucky chuckled.  
“That’s only ‘cause I was always too busy being pissed off at people for insulting _you.”_ He went to start the shower. “‘Course, I still wouldn’t now, but only ‘cause most of what they’d say about me would be true.” Steve sighed at Bucky’s remark and went over to hold him close again.  
“Baby-”  
“No, Steve, don’t you fuckin’ ‘baby’ me, okay? It’d all be true. That I’m a fucking psycho unless I’m pressed up against you, that I’m a Goddamned murderer, Hell, they’re probably right about me being infertile, too! Or at least sterile!” Bucky’s chest was heaving as he spoke, and he had started pulling at his hair. Steve pressed a line of kisses to his shoulder, suddenly very glad that Bucky's other arm remained detached by Bucky's side of the bed.  
"Bucky, nobody says any of that about you. And you smell a bit too pregnant for me to believe you about infertility. You're doing what you can with the hand you've been dealt, and there's nothin' more that anyone can ask of you. I love you, Buck, and I'm so damn proud of you."  
"Do I really smell pregnant?" Bucky asked, seemingly awed.  
"That's what you got out of that, seriously? Yeah, Buck. You smell real pretty pregnant, too. Now get in the damn shower, we're wasting hot water."

*  
*   *

Bucky smiled and nuzzled Steve, squeezing his hand where their fingers were laced, cupping his belly. Their skin was still slick from the shower and they were lying down on the bed- or at least Steve was, with Bucky lying on top of him, staring at the ceiling. They didn't speak for a long while, both soaking up the safety while it lasted, but eventually Bucky broke the silence.  
"We should get one of those weird new pregnancy tests. Just, y'know. To be sure. Don't wanna get our hopes up." Steve nodded and smoothed his free hand over Bucky's abs, wondering what kind of people the new lives possibly growing inside his mate would be.  
"Bruce could probably check. Might be less upsetting if you know the doctor. Did you want a midwife?" He asked gently. Bucky nodded.  
"Our mothers got along just fine with midwives, and it'd be nice to know that the person making sure our babies are healthy is capable of giving birth themselves." Steve kissed his temple and smiled brightly.  
"You're gonna be such a good mama, Buck. I'm gonna make sure our family is safe as best as I can, but you’re gonna make sure we all know how loved we are. You're so bright, Bucky, so good. I'm always trying to be as good as you, babydoll, but I'd be lucky to make it halfway there. I love you so, so much, Bucky, I'm so proud of you. So proud that you made it back to me. I'm never gonna let anyone hurt you again, I promise. I will always protect you. And we will always protect our family." Bucky smiled but remembered something and rolled off of Steve to look at him, still holding his hand.

"Stevie, were we ever together like this, before?" Steve's smile faltered, but he nodded, and gripped Bucky's hand tighter briefly.  
"Yeah, babe. We- we gave this a shot when we were maybe sixteen." Bucky shifted closer to Steve and kissed his shoulder.  
"Solnishka, what happened?" He asked, laying his head on Steve's chest to calm him.  
"I showed up on your ma's doorstep one Sunday after mass just after you turned nineteen to ask her for your hand. I just picked a bad day, 'cause it was your father that answered the door. Kicked me halfway to Queens, told me if I made a move on you again so long as he lived, he'd kill me."  
"So what? My father was never around."  
"I know that, Starlight, and I knew it then, but I was so little, and if he would've found out, he would've really killed me and left you all alone. I couldn't risk doing that to you. Besides, when he died I wrote to your Ma from Base Camp asking her again, and she said that if I could get us both out of that war alive, we'd have her blessing, so here we are." Bucky turned to kiss Steve gently.

"I love you, Steve," he whispered.  
"I love you too, Bucky. I'm so glad I get to have you back. I missed you so much." Steve ran his hands over Bucky's sides and down to his hips. Bucky keened and spread his legs so he was straddling Steve.  
"Stevie..." He whimpered. Steve's hands wandered lower to cup his omega's ass.  
"Baby, can I please have you again? Just a few more times until your heat ends." Bucky rocked his hips against Steve's.  
"Want it, want you so bad, Solnishka, please? Please let me have you?" Steve felt as though the air had been punched from his lungs, but tried to play dumb.  
"Gonna have to be a bit more specific than that, Buck. What do you want me to do to you?" As he spoke, Steve allowed his hands to traverse the vast expanse of skin that covered Bucky's back and thighs. Bucky was already shivering with the want.  
"Stevie," he choked. Steve clicked his tongue, just the once.  
"Oh, Starlight, what do you need? Are you okay?" He asked, feigning innocence. Bucky snarled, looking at Steve like a dare. Steve just smiled sweetly at him.  
  
"I'm fucking peachy, Steve," he growled, trapping Steve easily by pinning his hands and hips. "'Course, as luck would have it, the knucklehead I bonded to is being obtuse. He can't seem to get it through his thick skull that this-" he ground his hips down over Steve's cock and Steve couldn't breathe for a second- "-is what I want. Whaddaya think, Stevie? Think you could help a poor guy out?" Steve gaped for a few seconds before he could answer. When he came to his senses, he broke Bucky's hold and flipped him, drawing a squeal of displeasure from the bedframe before it finally gave in and broke, the headboard hitting both of them on the the crown. Bucky, to his credit, tried valiantly not to be the first to laugh, but eventually he had to cave when he saw the look on Steve's face. Steve sprung back and pulled Bucky up and away from the wreckage of the bed. "Stevie, your face! You looked like Falsworth did the first time we paid a call girl to hit on him! Oh my God, look at the bed, we gotta pay Stark back for this now, don't we?" What had been the bed until just then now more closely resembled a broken clotheshorse, the metal of the head- and footboards intact and leaning towards each other as the box spring and mattress curved downwards almost comically. There was a knock at the door after a few seconds and Steve jumped.  
  
"One sec," Bucky called, pulling Steve's bathrobe on and padding over to open the door.  
"Everything okay in here?" Tony asked, suddenly very interested in the ceiling as he noticed Steve scrambling for clothes. "Heard stuff breaking, got worried that our resident lovebirds were having a domestic. Everyone still have all the limbs they came in with? Oh, dear God, Barnes, he's taken your arm off, do you want me to call the spousal abuse hotline?" Bucky smirked at him for that.  
"Nope, no abuse here. Just lots and lots of hot, sweaty supersoldier sex. Did you need anything else?" Tony gaped at him, shocked at the level of sass Bucky was displaying for someone who had been so robotic the last time he’d seen him.  
  
"Bucky," Steve chided as he came up behind his omega, "Be nice to Tony. He's financing literally everything we’ve got, and if you piss him off too much, he might fuck your arm up.”  
“I’m sorry, I think I need to get my hearing checked. Did I just hear Steve Rogers, the definition of wholesome American values, swear?” Bucky snorted and Steve rested his hand protectively over Bucky's hip.  
"You obviously don't know Steve as well as you think you do. You know we grew up in the Depression, right? And soldiers aren't exactly known for being saints."  
"I thought he was, I dunno, immune to corruption or something. Point is, he's right, piss me off too much and I will most definitely, as Steve so eloquently put it, fuck your arm up. Thank you for that, Spangles. Anyway, dinner in an hour if Frosty's up for it. Natasha's cooking, so you should show up if you value your genitals."


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry this was late again!!! I couldn't get it to sit right (I'm still not 100% happy with it, but y'all have waited long enough.)  
> Sooooo, there are some pretty major plot developments in this one, but like, not much actually changes? If that makes sense? I dunno man. In any case, read away! Have fun, dumplings!

_**[a few weeks pass]** _

“We, um. We have an announcement to make before supper, though I’m sure most of you have noticed already,” Steve started, standing up. Bucky stood with him and took his hand, squeezing gently.  
“I’m pregnant.” he announced quietly, startling only Tony, whose perception was shit, and Sam, who was fresh back from DC.  
"We think. I mean, obviously there's a margin for error, but Bruce, you said you were 90% sure?" Bruce nodded.  
"This early on, there's definitely a high risk for complications, especially for a male omega like you, Bucky, but so far, so good. Congratulations to you both," he replied with a smile. Everyone nodded and gave their best wishes.  
"Yeah, congratulations! I would offer champagne, but you really shouldn't drink that stuff if you're in a family way, Barnes. So, what are you thinking for names? Don't bother saying what your top pick is, we all know it's Anthony," Tony recovered, trying to hide his shock.

Steve laughed, and Bucky raised an eyebrow at Tony before Steve replied to the question, both of them sitting down.  
"We haven't really thought all that much about names, huh, Buck? I mean, I know that nowadays folks name their kids months before they're even born, but when we were kids you never named your pups before they were two weeks old. I don't think my parents named me 'till I made it to at least a month." Bucky snickered.  
"That being said, of course we have names in mind. Probably at least one of our parents' names," he put in, squeezing Steve's hand where they were clasped under the table.  
"In any case, there's another reason why we're telling you all this. I'm resigning, temporarily, from the team," Steve announced, surprising even Bucky.  
"I can't be putting myself in that much danger right now, or be away from Bucky for too long. That being said, if there's something truly world-threatening, of course I'll step up, but I'll mostly just be part of the reserves."  
"Steve, you don't gotta do that. I can take care'a myself and the pups. The world needs you, babe, you've got a responsibility to it," Bucky tried to reason with him, but Steve wouldn't budge on it.  
"We'll talk about it later, okay, babe?" Bucky narrowed his eyes, but nodded and tucked in to his food.

 

*  
*   *

 

"Oh, look at you, babe, you're so sweet," Steve whispered against Bucky's bond bite later that evening as he pinned his wrists to the wall above his head. "Make me wanna stuff you full of my knot again, Starlight, would you like that? Like me to keep you so full of come that everyone knows how well your alpha takes care of his mate?" He asked, his lips still trailing over the sensitive flesh. It was a rhetorical question, of course- he knew the answer. When pregnant, omegas, particularly male omegas, were in a state of near-constant heat if not swathed in their Alpha's scent- and another alpha taking advantage of that heat could spell death to their pups. Still, Bucky answered.

"Please, Stevie, love it when you take care of me, won't you please fill me back up? Been empty all day long," he pouted, shifting his hips in a way he sincerely hoped was alluring and leaning forward as much as he could to ghost his lips over his mate's. "Can you take care of me? Take care of our babies? Are you strong enough?" He asked, knowing the question would crawl under Steve's skin.  
"Yes," the alpha growled, biting his omega's plush lower lip and pulling slightly.  
"Prove it," Bucky dared, voice velvet and hips swaying.

Then there was a knock at the door. Steve grimaced and dropped Bucky's hands, turning to open the door with a pleasant, if tight, smile. It was Natasha.  
"Hey," she greeted, not bothering to wait for an invitation before stepping inside. "I need to talk to you."  
"Can it wait? We were kind of in the middle of something," Bucky whined at her as she walked straight into the kitchen and put the kettle on.  
"I think you of all people will find that this has waited long enough, James. You want tea or coffee? I'm giving you decaf either way."  
"Coffee." He leaned against the doorframe, folding his arms, as Steve recovered from the shock, locked the door, and joined them, leaning on the counter between his mate and the other alpha.

"What's this about, Natasha?" Steve asked as the switch flicked, signalling that the kettle had boiled.  
"Steve, what about you? Coffee or tea?"  
"Tea. And you didn't answer my question." Natasha pursed her lips just slightly, one of the few tells she allowed to show, even around her teammates.  
"You'll want to be sitting down." She stated it as though it was the only thing she was sure of in the situation.  
"Natalia. You act like you just botched your first hit and you're trying to tell somebody. Now what is it?" Bucky asked, moving to stand behind her and combing his fingers through her hair, faltering slightly when he noticed Steve tense at his willing contact with another alpha. He shot him a Look and continued, even going so far as to twist little braids into her hair as an attempt to calm his friend.  
"James, you don't understand. You really do need to be sitting for this." She asserted as she finished brewing Bucky's coffee and a pot of tea for herself and Steve.

"What do you take?"  
"Just like that is perfect, thanks," Bucky replied and took the mug from her.  
"Milk and sugar, but I can fix these up. How about you two go sit in the parlour? I'll be right out," Steve offered, taking his friend's trembling hands and rubbing at her palms gently, the way Bucky used to do for him.  
"What about you? How do you want your tea?"  
"Just some lemon and honey if you've got it- Thanks, Steve." He smiled a bit.   
"No problem. We'll get you sorted, right? Everything's gonna be fine," he assured her, giving her hands a squeeze.  
  
Bucky led her to the parlour and sat her down on the couch, setting down his coffee and taking her hands, doing a much better job than Steve at rubbing the tension from them. Steve came in a few seconds later and took up the armchair across from them, sitting at the edge of his seat so that he was within reach if she needed him. Natasha sighed.  
"Now the first thing that both of you have to understand is that I've never lied to you. I might not have told you the whole truth, but what I did tell you was never a lie." Bucky nodded and squeezed her hands in encouragement before dropping them to let her hold her mug.

"The second thing is- I didn't know about this until very recently. In fact, I would never have found out at all if DC hadn't happened. Steve, I'm sure you noticed that there were a few pages missing from the file I gave you, right? Pages 500-550?" Steve nodded and took a sip of his tea.  
"I figured either HYDRA wanted to make sure nobody ever found that information or that you had a very good reason for taking it," he confirmed.  
"Those pages were the documentation of Bucky's first pregnancy." Natasha told them, her voice nearly a whisper. The men shared a look, but let her continue.  
"I took them because I needed to confirm before you found out."  
"Found out what?" Bucky coaxed, as gently as he could manage- it was probably the hardest subject for him to approach with anyone but Steve- only Natasha and Sam knew. Natasha turned to face him.  
"Your daughter's alive." she told him.  
"Your daughter's alive, and she's me."

 

*

*     *

 

Bucky couldn't breathe. He was vaguely aware of the mug dropping from his hands, Steve's mug suffering a similar fate, but he really couldn't bring himself to care. _She's alive._ He thought. _She's alive and she's one of the most amazing people I've ever known._ He had to ground himself for a minute. _Yes,_ his baby was alive. But at what cost had she become the amazing woman sitting next to him? His chest felt tight as he fell forward slightly, holding his baby, the baby he thought he'd lost. Through a haze, he noticed Steve moving from his armchair to sit on the sofa on Natasha's other side, not daring to intrude any more than that before Bucky reached for him. _I'm sorry,_ he thought. _I'm so sorry for what was done to you. They took you away from me and I'm so sorry I couldn't protect you. I couldn't keep you safe._

He was startled by a sob-even more so when he realized it was his own. As were the whimpers.  
"It's okay," Natasha was saying, the only one out of the three of them that was able to form sentences,  
"It's okay, I'm here now. We're here now, all of us, we made it out. We made it out, we're safe now." Bucky sobbed again and held her tighter, wishing he could have prevented the pain of her past.  
"My baby," he realized he was saying,  
"My sweet little girl. I'm sorry, so sorry I didn't keep you safe. I'm so sorry, Natalia," he cried as he dug his fingers into Steve's back. Natasha just held them close and let her parents cry, hushing any apologies that were attempted.  
"I know you never wanted that for me, it's okay. I know. I know. Steve, there was nothing you could _do,_  you were in the ice, it's okay that you couldn't keep us safe," and so on. They stayed like that for hours, until JARVIS cut in,  
"You should really get your rest while you can, if you please, Captain and Sgt. Rogers," at which point Steve carried him to bed and held Natasha for a little while longer before sending her home to Clint.

*

*     *

 

"I love you so much, Bucky," he whispered as he crawled into bed beside him, settling for scent bathing for the night as opposed to the sex that they both knew would become the norm. Bucky scooted backwards slightly, loving the attention he got as the little spoon.  
"I love you too, Stevie."  
"Are you going to be okay?"  
"Are you kidding me? I'm. I think I might actually be happy. She- turned out well. As well as she could've, under those circumstances." Steve kissed the crown of his head and held him tighter.  
"Mind you, everything's going to get really weird now," Bucky added.  
"Yeah," Steve agreed.  
"Let's get some sleep, okay, sweetheart? We're gonna need it."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> P.S. the person who leaves the 150th kudos gets a ficlet! most pairings, (No incest, sorry) any fandom!


	14. IM SO SORRY ITS BEEN FOUR MONTHS I HAVE NO EXCUSE HERE HAVE PORN

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> title sums it up. Basically I just slipped some plot in at the end to fool you into thinking this was a serious fic and not just fucking porn.

"Natalia Alianovna Romanov, I swear to God if you say 'but mom' one more time I will end you."  
"But-"  
"No. Don't call me 'mom,' it's too fucking weird. And that mission is so suicidal not even Steve is going. Clint, c'mon, back me up here," he begged, turning to the other omega in exasperation.  
"Listen to your mother, Nat," Clint chided as he got his toast out of the toaster, earning a glare from Bucky. "My heat's coming, and if you're away I'll have to-"

At that moment, Steve cut in from where he was sitting next to Bucky.  
"-Okayyy, too much information, Clint. Natasha, Bucky's right, it's far too dangerous. If anyone's going, it should be somebody who doesn't have a bondmate. There's no need to end two, or, in our case more, lives unnecessarily."  
"Oh, so _that's_ why you're not going. And here I just thought you actually _meant_ that speech you gave at dinner last week. You see what I have to put up with here?" Bucky complained to Clint.  
"I hear ya, buddy. One time, she literally tied me to the bed in the middle of my heat so she could--"  
"Clint! TMI!" Tony squawked as he waltzed into the kitchen. "Anyway, does anyone have a decent waffle recipe? I've been having the _weirdest_ craving for waffles and sauerkraut all day."  
"I'm not making you waffles so you can put _sauerkraut_ on them," Clint declared, wrinkling his nose. "It'd be a waste of my culinary genius." Natasha snorted.  
"'Culinary genius'? Remember when you thought it'd be a good idea to put pickled herring on my-"  
"Oh, come on, that was one time! Just once!" Clint exclaimed. Bucky snorted and turned to Natasha.  
"Okay, I need to hear this story."  
"Might I remind you all that there is in fact an emergency in Montréal right now?" JARVIS interrupted. "Even if the rest of you decide that you can't go, I can't see a reason why you couldn't, Dr. Stark. Mr. Wilson, Dr. Banner, Miss Maximoff, and Col. Rhodes are already preparing the Quinjet for launch. The Vision is already en route. Shall I prepare the Iron Legion?"

Tony sighed.  
"I'm getting too old for this," he groused. Bucky snickered.  
"Ol' Man Stark," he teased, "could'ja grab some tiger balm on your way back? Stevie promised me a massage." Tony's  jaw set and he glared at the other omega.  
"You're lucky you're pregnant. Yes, I'll grab your weird Chinese muscle relaxant. If I live." Bucky grinned and batted his lashes.  
"Thanks, doll. You're a peach," he told Tony with a wink. Steve hooked his arm around Bucky's waist possessively and kissed his temple.

"Awe, you _jealous_ , Stevie?" Bucky asked, turning to murmur in Steve's ear, quiet enough that he could barely hear himself. Steve didn't reply, but the corner of his mouth twitched in a way that totally gave him away. "It's alright, Daddy, you take care of me better than Tony _ever_ could. What do you say we get outta here?" Bucky suggested quietly, nipping Steve's earlobe. Steve cleared his throat and looked up to see Natasha mime throwing up. He chuckled.  
"I don't think our audience appreciates this as much as we do," he replied, just as soft.  
"All the more reason to take this to that new room you've been setting up. I wanna see if that new bed frame is really as strong as Stark promised."

"You know, I might not have the super strength, but I _can_ hear you. I still got the insane sensory shit," Natasha complained. "Please take it somewhere else. Lest I have nightmares about sweaty, ball-slapping parent sex." Clint groaned.  
"Oh, God, now _I'm_ thinking about it! Please, for the love of God, move it upstairs!" He pleaded. Bucky snickered.  
"Is _that_ all it takes to give you nightmares, Natalia? You already knew you had siblings on the way, didn't you? How did you think they happened?" Clint banged his head off the counter and buried it beneath his arms.  
"Oh my God. Sweaty, ball-slapping, _pregnant_ parent sex. God, guys, _move!_ Seriously!" He commanded, muffled. Steve chuckled, but conceded, guiding Bucky with a hand on his hip to the elevator. Bucky stuck his tongue out at Natasha, causing her to flip him off in retaliation. Steve rolled his eyes at the pair of them as the elevator doors slid closed.

Bucky was on him immediately, backing him into the corner and kissing him with a fervour Steve hadn't known could exist outside of heat. Steve sighed and rested his hands on Bucky's hips, his thumbs rubbing gentle circles.  
"Mmm, babydoll," Steve murmured into his mate's mouth, "you're gonna love it. Perfect nesting room. If it isn't, I can get whatever you need, I promise. Gonna take care of our family, right, darlin'?" Bucky pushed Steve into the hallway as soon as the elevator had stopped.  
"Don't _actually_ give a shit about the room right now, Stevie," he growled. "I'll look around after. Just please, please fuck me.” Steve smiled and pressed a kiss to Bucky's ear.

"You giving the orders here, Sarge?" He asked, his voice dropping to a purr. Bucky shivered and melted a bit further into Steve’s arms. “Maybe you oughta show your superior officer some respect,” Steve suggested, his voice still in that intoxicating tone.  
“Yes, sir, I agree,” Bucky managed. “I really should.” Steve hummed in agreement.  
“How do you think I should teach you a lesson? Think choking on my dick would do it? Or do you need something more substantial? I could fuck it into you, put the fear of God in that womb with all those babies you’re gonna give me.” Bucky made a little choking sound and fisted his hands in the fabric of Steve’s shirt.

“Sir?” he asked tentatively.  
“Yes, Sergeant?” Steve replied.  
“Can… Can I please have both, Sir? If I learn my lesson twice, it- it might stick better, Sir.” Steve moved quickly, taking a fistful of Bucky’s hair and pulling hard so Bucky was forced to his knees, right there in the hallway. Bucky cried out, but didn’t safeword. This was too _good_.  
“You’re a greedy _whore_ , Barnes,” Steve spat. Bucky preened, despite the insult. “But I suppose you’re _my_ whore, aren’t you?” the alpha’s voice went oddly soft as he asked this. “I take care of what’s mine, Sergeant. Lucky for you. Now, are you going to be good? I need to know whether I can trust you to follow orders.” Bucky nodded as best as he could with Steve’s fist still clenched in his hair.  
“Yes, Sir, I’ll be _so_ good. I can follow orders, Sir, I can, I promise,” he begged. Steve released his hair.  
“You’re to remain on your knees for the remainder of the night. If I decide you’re allowed to lie on the bed, you’re to wait for me to lift you, is that understood?” He asked, his eyes flint and his expression serious.  
“Yes, Sir, it is,” Bucky confirmed. “Thank you, Sir.”

“Don’t thank me just yet,” Steve muttered under his breath as he pushed the door open.

*  
*   *

Bucky felt yet another tear escape from the corner of his eye. Steve had made it perfectly clear that he could tap out whenever he needed to- But the thing was, he didn’t _want_ to. He felt himself gag violently again, more tears threatening in his lashes, and he looked up. He looked up, and he was reminded why he fucking loved this so much. Steve looked down at him adoringly, his expression completely detached from the rough treatment he was giving Bucky. The brunet hummed and let his eyes slide closed, sucking softly as Steve forced his length even further down his throat. Bucky reached up blindly for Steve’s free hand, twining their fingers together and holding tightly to his Alpha.

“You look _beautiful_ , Bucky,” Steve praised, whispering as though if he said it too loud he would shatter the moment like glass. “You’re the eighth Deadly Sin, I swear.” Bucky moaned softly and gave Steve’s hand a squeeze. “Water for a drowning man,” the blond crooned. He drew back entirely to let Bucky breathe for a minute, holding him back as the brunet tried to fill his mouth back up too soon. “Shh, shh. Breathe, babydoll. Let me take care of you. You trust me, don’t you? You trust that I’ll take care of you?” Bucky looked wounded.  
“Of course,” he croaked, “Of _course_ I do, Stevie.” Steve smiled and cupped his cheek gently.  
“Then just let me lead. Tap out if you need to, okay? I don’t want to hurt you, baby. Just to teach you a lesson.” his thumb traced the corner of Bucky’s mouth as it tipped into a smile.  
“Okay, Daddy. I will. Can I _please_ suck your cock now? I’ll make it so good, I _promise_ ,” Bucky pleaded.

Steve smiled indulgently and knelt down to kiss Bucky deeply.  
“I think that’s enough of this position for one night, sweetheart. You should get off of your knees.” Bucky whined.  
“But I-”  
“--Can suck it just as well on the bed. Do you want me to keep fucking your face, or do you want to be in charge?” Steve asked as he lifted his mate gently to lie on the soft, low nesting bed. Bucky sighed and snuggled into the covers.  
“If we’re in bed anyway, I think I’d like it if you fulfilled the second half of my punishment,” he suggested, tilting his hips invitingly. Steve licked his lips and palmed his erection, unable to quell the memory of Bucky's warmth around him. “What do you think, Sir? Do you think I’ve earned it?” Bucky asked, the picture of innocence. Steve bit his lip and knelt forward, his hands cradling the smaller man’s jaw gingerly as he leaned in to kiss him. His breath caught and he kissed him over and over, legs straddling his omega’s.

"Bucky," Steve whispered, "Bucky, I want- Can I- Please let me fuck you, baby, let me make you feel good. I could- Please, sweetheart, I need you. I need you, Kitten." Bucky smiled up at him and reached up for his face.  
 _"Yes,"_ he whispered and pulled Steve down for a kiss that ended up more teeth than lips. “I love you _so_ much,” he sighed. “So much, Stevie. ‘D do _anything_ for you. You know that, right? You know how much I love you?”  
“Of course, baby. I never doubted you. I love you too."

Bucky smiled softly and wrapped his legs tightly around Steve's hips.  
"Please, Stevie," he breathed, and for whatever reason, something deep inside Steve snapped. He pinned Bucky's shoulders to the bed with one arm as he slid down the smaller man's body, biting bruises into his chest and leaving soft kisses on his belly. He looked up at Bucky when he got to his groin, causing the omega to whine and reach down to cup the back of his head. "Stevie," he choked, "Stevie, please, I-"  
"Shhhh, baby," Steve whispered softly, "I've got you. It's alright. You want me to suck your pretty little dick?" Bucky nodded frantically and laced his fingers in Steve's hair, gripping tight.

Steve smiled and pressed one more kiss to Bucky's belly before he leaned down, trying to take Bucky's entire length in one go. Bucky wasn't big by any stretch of the imagination, but he was still big enough to gag Steve, who had never sucked a dick before in his life.  
" _Jesus_ , Stevie, you gotta _pace_ yourself," Bucky admonished, his head tipped back in astonishment that the alpha had even tried. "Work up to it, at least."  
"You make it look so easy," Steve remarked as he pulled off to catch his breath, "How do you do that? Walk me through it," he demanded.

"Uhh... I've never really thought about it?" Bucky admitted, "But I guess just... Start with just the head... _Yeah,_ just like that, Stevie... Alright, now lick a bit? Not too much... _Oh,_ baby, you're killin' me here, it's so good. Now just- very carefully, yeah? But just a little bit of teeth? Just wanna see if--- _Ohh... Mmhmm,_ just like that... Suck a little? _Oh, my God_ , Stevie, I'm seein' stars. Knew I'd find a good use for that smarth mouth someday." He felt Steve smile around him and looked back down at his adoring face. He always knew that face would destroy him someday. "I-- I'm---" he managed, before coming down his alpha's throat. Steve spluttered and coughed, but swallowed for lack of somewhere to spit.  
" _God_ , baby, that was so beautiful," Steve praised as they both recovered, watching Bucky both preen and blush in embarrassment.

"I mean, I'll admit that at first I was wondering why the Hell you liked doing that so much but... Oh, kitten, watching you come apart like that was so amazing. Could watch you like that all day." Bucky smiled and settled back into the numerous pillows.  
"How about you come up here and give me a kiss?" He asked, arms akimbo and ready to hold his mate.  
"With- Bucky, my mouth is full of come," Steve protested. Bucky nodded seriously.  
"Yeah. My come. So what?"  
"So- Isn't that kinda gross?"  
"Why? You never complain."  
"Yeah, I mean I guess not, but-"  
"Just get up here and fucking kiss me, you punk!" Bucky demanded, reaching for Steve and making grabbing motions at him. Steve chuckled, but obliged, his left hand cradling Bucky's jaw while his right took his weight.

"Mmm," Bucky started between kisses, "You should fuck me now." Steve rolled his eyes.  
"Insatiable," he mocked, "completely and utterly insatiable. I just gave you the best suck job of your whole goddamn life, and it still ain't enough." Bucky scoffed.  
"Yeah. 'Best' because it was the _only_ suck job of my whole damn life. Just cause I've sucked a lot of dick in my time, Rogers, that doesn't mean I got Dick back. I got a couple 'one's one time, but that's about it."  
"Was that what happened that time-"  
"-I got you that watercolor set for Christmas? Yeah, Stevie. Felt like _shit_ about it, too, it felt like I was hidin' somethin' from you, but it was worth it, seein' the look on your face. Back on topic, you should fuck me."

"Hmmm... Do you want my rebuttal?" Steve asked. Bucky sighed.  
"Probably not, but I have a feeling I'll get it anyway."  
"Mm, never know, you might like it," Steve murmured. "I think I should make love to you instead." Bucky's brow furrowed.  
"Steve, that's the _same thing_ ," he argued.  
"Mm, no. See, if I _fuck_ you, it's hard, and fast, and rough. But..." He trailed, starting a line of kisses from the corner of Bucky's jaw and downward, "...if I _make love_ to you... Well, then, see, we have all the time in the world. If you'll let me, I'll make you into a queen. Lap of luxury, kitten, and it's all yours." His hands trailed lightly down Bucky's arms, encircling his wrists gently as he knelt between his legs. Bucky hummed and laid back, deciding to let Steve have his way for once.  
"I love you, Stevie," he mumbled softly.  
"I love you too, Buck. You mean so much to me. You're my everything, you always have been. You always will be, no matter what." Bucky smiled and let go as the sensations washed over him.

*  
*   *

"Bucky!"

His eyes shut tighter against the small, but persistent amount of sunlight that was trying to infiltrate his dreams. He wasn't ready to give up this one yet. It was so lovely, a rare commodity when most of his dreams involved only pain and electrocution. This one, however... This one was sweet. There was a blond man, who told him he loved him... And a woman, a redhead who claimed to be his baby... And more babies on the way... He couldn't wake up yet. Couldn't face Them.

"Bucky! Wake up!" The voice again. Familiar, but... Different. "Come on, Buck, we've gotta go! Come on, you've _gotta_ wake up!" The dream was starting to fade. Once it had started, waking up set in quickly- like a frost that wouldn't let go.  
"I..." There was something he needed to say. Before he even opened his eyes, he had to say it.

"I want it to be real."

He opened his eyes. There was the blond from his dream- Stevie, his Stevie- But his face was wrong. He had blood dripping from a gash in his forehead, and he looked so _worried_. Why was he so worried?  
"Bucky, thank God you're awake. Come on, we have to get you out of here before they find out, let's go!"  
"What's-- Where are we?" Bucky asked, looking around and recognizing nothing.  
"I don't know, exactly. I do know we were drugged, and that this is a HYDRA base, but other than that? No fucking clue. And they got both of us this time." Bucky looked down in horror at his stomach.  
"Stevie, what about--?" He was cut off by Steve clapping a hand over his mouth.

"They don't know yet," the alpha whispered in his ear, so low that Bucky wasn't sure he'd heard him. "We need to keep it that way, or it'll be even harder to get out. Now listen. There are two guards outside that door, and about twelve scattered around the room. The door itself isn't all that strong, no problem to bust down, but I suspect that there's an alarm system, which would complicate things a bit. There's a vent in the far left corner, so you see it? I think you could fit through. It's too narrow for my shoulders, but once you're out you can call for backup and get me out, okay? Getting you out is top priority right now, Bucky. Nod that you understand." Bucky nodded. "Good boy. Be quick, sweetheart, but be careful, too. Don't start anything without Clint and Tasha. I love you so much, babydoll. Now _go!_ "

Steve removed his hand from Bucky's mouth and let the brunet twist around to kiss him.  
"I love you too, Stevie. I'll come back soon for you, I promise. I won't let them touch that alleged brain of yours." Then he was off, tearing across the dimly-lit room quickly and quietly enough that nobody even seemed to notice. _Amateurs._ He used the Weapon to wrench the grate off of the duct and dove in, trench crawling as fast as his arm could carry him- the Weapon made too much noise against the steel for him to consider using it. When he came to a T-joint, he smelled the air and turned left- not necessarily because it smelled fresher, but because the smell of fried eggs from the kitchen on the right was making him physically want to vomit. _Gee, pregnancy symptoms really choose the best times they can to show themselves,_ he thought.

He could hear people climbing into the duct behind him, so he picked up the pace even more. Looking ahead, he saw what looked like a dead end, but he kept going anyway only to find that it was the duct turning upwards toward the roof. He quickly pulled his boots, socks, and shirt off, holding them with the Weapon, before scaling the walls of the duct, using his skin for traction.  
"The Asset went this way!" _Shit._ He dropped his clothes and dug into the metal with his left hand, testing- _Yeah, that'll work_ \- before launching himself upward, using his feet to gain traction. He repeated this a few more times before reaching the top, shoving the grate aside and clambering out onto the roof.  
"Are you fucking _kidding me?_ " He cursed. Shaking his head, he backed up to the far edge of the roof, getting a running jump to land in...

Natasha's living room. He and Steve had been kidnapped and taken _next fucking door_. Nat looked at him over the top of her book, one eyebrow raised. "HYDRA," he answered the question in her eyes. She frowned and nodded.  
"Need help?"  
"Yeah, if you wouldn't mind. Might want to call in Barton, too." Speaking of whom...  
"Nat, are you okay? I heard a-- Oh. Should I get Sam?"  
"Yeah. We're probably gonna want Wanda, too, if Montreal can spare both of them. If not, see if we can reach Daredevil. Apparently the accounting company next door? Yeah. HYDRA. They've got Steve, and I've got a feeling I know exactly what they're gonna wanna do with him."


	15. Chapter 15

Bucky breathed deep, steadying himself, as he crawled back through the air duct toward HYDRA against his every self-preserving instinct. The only reason he could keep going was because the instinct to protect his mate was even stronger. _I'm comin' Stevie_ , he promised mentally. _Just don't let them fuck you up before I get there._ He came to a split in the tubing and froze. _Shit,_ he thought. _Which way was it?_ He listened intently for which way he should go. A muffled scream that sent chills down his spine told him left. He picked up speed.  
 _"Barnes, what's your position?"_ Natasha asked over the comms. He tapped the button on the side of the device that would get JARVIS to tell her that he was fine, but couldn't talk. As he got closer to the source of Steve's screams, the smell of his mate's blood made Bucky cover his nose. _Oh, my God, Stevie..._

 

He dared to peek through the next grate he passed over. Beneath him was possibly the most horrific scene he had ever witnessed- and he had seen some stomach-turners. ***** The flesh on Steve's hands was peeled back, and the doctors were fusing some kind of metal to his bones. Bucky knew they had to let them finish this procedure- He himself had stopped the doctors who reinforced his skeleton, and he paid for it with pain and significant bone trauma for years until somebody noticed. *****     He very carefully pulled his phone from his pocket, making sure it was on silent before texting Natasha:

 **< Go home. I'm gonna have to stick around for a while.>** As expected, she called immediately, and he declined the call.

**< it's gonna be okay. They won't have done anything to his mind yet. But he's in surgery. If we stop them now he'll be in more danger than if we let them finish.>**

**< what the fuck are they doing? He's already at the peak of human capability!>**

**< reinforcing his skeleton. Probably adamantium, but they might've sprung for vibranium this time. I'm going to let them finish his hands and forearms and then I'm getting him out of here at all costs. I'll call you back in if I need you.>**

*  
*   *

Five hours later, the surgeons closed the last stitch and Bucky kicked the grate loose, landing between Steve and the monsters. He growled, literally growled at them, grabbing the nearest scalpel.  
"You let me take him without a fight, and I _won't_ kill you all." The one who seemed to be in charge nodded, dropping the equipment that had been in her hands and raising her arms above her head, nodding toward the door. Bucky waited for her coworkers to do the same before staining the floor with their blood. Yeah, so what if he’d lied? Not like they should've believed him, if they knew who he was. He picked Steve up bridal-style, and bolted through the halls. Extraordinarily, any guards he encountered were already either unconscious or (more likely) dead- he'd have to send Nat and Clint a muffin basket. He pressed a kiss to the side of Steve's head as they exited the lobby into the streets.  
"JARVIS, get Bruce up to the med bay, please," Bucky ordered as he entered the Tower's lobby, never slowing. He would've broken through the door if that wouldn't have hurt Steve worse.  
"Yes, Sergeant Barnes," the AI replied. Bucky took the stairs, not wanting to wait for the elevator.

"Bruce, I'm sorry, I know you're not really that kind of doctor, and you just got back from a mission, but you're more qualified than me," Bucky apologized as he laid Steve down on the cot.  
"Of course," Bruce waived him. "Natasha said they were reinforcing his bones?" Bucky nodded.  
"You've seen my scans. Same idea, I think. They just finished up to his elbows," he explained. "I thought about letting them do his skull, to be honest." Bruce smiled and nodded as he inspected the stitches.  
"He _can_ be thick headed," he agreed. "I think all I can do for now is sterilize the sites and watch for infection. Watch him when he starts waking up, don't let him move his hands too much," the doctor advised. "I think the Big Guy might have to pay our neighbours a visit," he added with clenched teeth.  
"Everyone who's in there is already dead," Bucky told him. It might've been technically a lie, but most of them were probably in comas, judging by how long they had been unconscious. "Worst the Big Guy can do is property damage at this point." Bruce nodded.  
"Good. Then I'll be back in about an hour."

Bucky watched Bruce leave before he let himself collapse with his head resting on Steve's shoulder, his face buried against his neck.  
"I'm so damn sorry, Stevie," he mumbled. "I put our family in danger. I dunno what I did, but I'll stop. I promise. Nothin's more important to me than our family. I love you." Steve breathed a bit deeper than he had been doing, and stirred beneath Bucky, who sat straight up. "Don't move, Stevie," he instructed once he was sure Steve was actually waking up. "Just lay back, I've gotcha. I've gotcha, angel." Steve gasped and sat straight up, looking around with wide, horror-filled eyes.  
"What- When---?"  
"Shhhh," Bucky soothed, coaxing him to lie back down, "Still 2015. Still the same day, even. They did a number on you, huh, Stevie?" Steve tried to reach up and touch Bucky's face, but winced halfway there. Bucky gently caught Steve's hand between both of his own and bent to kiss each fingertip where they poked out of the gauze. "You're alright, babydoll, you're gonna be okay. I'm okay too, and from what I can tell, so are the pups. No blood yet." Steve let out a heavy breath.

"What'd they do to me, Buck?" He croaked.  
"They reinforced some of your bones. I was in the air ducts the whole time, they didn't try anything nasty, I promise. I would've swooped in earlier, but once you start that shit, you have to finish or you can end up worse than you ever were. Here, drink this," he encouraged, grabbing a cup of water from the nightstand and supporting Steve's head to help him drink it. "Basically, you can't move your hands for a while. Gonna drive you crazy, I know, but just let me take care of you, okay, Stevie?" Steve nodded and laid back down.

"I'm sorry, Buck," he mumbled after a while. "I didn't protect you. Oh my God, Buck, they almost got our babies, I--" Bucky stroked Steve's hair back, kissing his temple.  
"Shh. They didn't. They didn't get to our children. We're safe now, baby. Go back to sleep, I'll keep you safe. I promise, Stevie, I'll always get you out." Steve smiled and turned to kiss Bucky.  
"Love you, Buck."  
"I love you too, Stevie. It'll be alright. I promise." At least he hoped it would be.

*  
*   *

Bucky knelt on the floor over the toilet three weeks later, holding his hair back. _Why are you doing this to me?_ He wondered, looking down at his abs and pretending he could see the pups to reprimand them. _You need this food as much as I do, if not more!_ He grimaced as another wave of nausea washed over him, and gave in, only to find that he was dry heaving now. _Great._ He wiped his mouth and flushed, washing his hands and brushing his teeth before rejoining Steve. Steve winced.  
"I'm sorry, baby," he apologized. Bucky waved him off.  
"How are your hands? Feeling any better?" He asked as he sat down, taking a cautious bite of toast.  
"Itchy," Steve replied, "so they're healing, I guess. Glad to be able to move a bit, it's nice to feed myself again." Bucky smiled.  
"That was hilarious, I'm glad Nat got pictures," he admitted.

"Oh, ha ha, very funny," Steve pouted.  
"Awe, babe, don't be like that! C'mon, you know I love you!" Steve only looked away, sniffling loudly in a very bad attempt to act.  
"No, it's okay. I understand." Bucky got up and sat on the table next to Steve's breakfast. He reached out and held Steve's jaw between his hands, gently turning his head. He leaned forward and kissed him, lingering for a while.  
"I love you, Steve. And I love taking care of you. You know that."  
"I know, Buck. I love you too. You taste like puke though." Bucky sighed heavily.  
"You know what, Rogers? I don't have to put up with this kinda low blow from you. I'm pregnant." He got up, and, grabbing his toast, turned to leave.  
"Awe, babe, no, come back! I love you, babydoll, please?"  
"Nope! You had your chance! I'm going to nest for a bit!" Bucky announced as he waited for the elevator. Steve gaped after him.  
"Oh- okay," he replied. The nest was Bucky's space. Steve only went in if Bucky invited him. That was the rule. "I love you, baby," he called as Bucky stepped into the elevator.

Bucky knew he was being childish. That was the _point_. He sat in the nest of blankets after he finished eating, soaking them in his scent. _Might be nice if Steve was here, though,_ he thought. _It'd be good to get it smelling like him, too._ He laid back, thinking about sleeping. He couldn't, though. _Fine,_ he thought, pulling out his phone.    
 **< okay fine, you can join me. just don't tease me for puke breath again. I'm pregnant, damnit.>** He tossed his phone to the side and flopped back down on the bed.

He must've dozed off, because he woke to Steve dropping bodily to the bed next to him and curling around him protectively.  
"I'm sorry, baby," the alpha murmured. "You don't really taste like puke. And if you did it'd be my fault." Bucky nudged his way under Steve's chin.  
"I already knew that, dumbass. But thank you for putting up with me and my bullshit." Steve shrugged. "No, don't do that. I was bein' an asshole, and I over reacted. You were just teasing me. I would blame it on hormones, but we both know that's a dick move. I'm sorry, Stevie." Steve pushed some hair up off of Bucky's forehead and kissed him softly.  
"I love you," he whispered. "You're allowed to be an asshole sometimes. Even if I _am_ injured." Bucky sighed in exasperation and smacked Steve's hip gently.  
"Just gotta get the little guilt trip in there, huh? Can't believe I put up with you sometimes. It's a good thing you're cute, Rogers." But even as he said it, he was nestling closer and rubbing against Steve's scent glands. "Such a punk." Steve kissed the top of his head and shifted so Bucky was lying on top of him and had Steve's arms around his waist.

"Bucky?" he asked after a few minutes, and Bucky made a noncommittal noise to indicate that he was listening. "I love you so much. You're gonna be the best mama, aren't you?" Bucky nodded, content, and kissed under Steve's jaw. "M' gonna pamper you, baby," Steve whispered. "You hafta sleep first, though. I'll wake you up."  
"Mmmmmkay," Bucky sighed.

*

One day, for one day only, just as his belly was starting to show, Bucky relapsed as the Winter Soldier. He nearly killed Steve- _did_ kill several pigeons- and disappeared for nearly six hours before returning, himself once more.

*

Afterward, Bucky seemed to want to pretend it had never happened. He was back to being lively, and always had a joke to tell and a smile on his face. But he didn’t let Steve hold him anymore; any tender touch and the pain behind his eyes would show for a split second before he batted Steve away.

Steve resolved himself to… Well, not to 'fix' it, because Bucky wasn't broken, but… Steve needed his mate back, and for that to happen Bucky had to come to terms with the fact that this would probably continue to occur. So he told Bucky they needed to have a talk, and borrowed some money from Tony.

  
*  
*   *

Later that week, Steve and Bucky sat across their dining room table from each other. Bucky couldn't meet Steve’s eyes. Steve sighed and got up from the table, presumably going to get something from the bedroom. The tension instantly leached out of Bucky’s shoulders and he let himself slump forwards with his head cushioned on his arms. His shoulders, relaxed as they may be, still shook as he cried.  
“Bucky?” Steve called from the door, his voice small. “I- I have something for you.” Bucky couldn't bring himself to lift his head. “Starlight, please, just- even just _look_ at me.” _I’m sorry,_ he thought, _I can't._ Steps toward him. Hands, gentle, on his shoulders. Lips on the back of his neck.  
Suddenly he had to get out. _Can't, can’t- **do** this anymore-_ he stood up.

“Steve, I-” _-’m sorry--_ Pushed away from Steve and ran. Didn't know where he was going until he was there, and he collapsed on the bed in the nest Steve had made for him. He cried. He didn't know how long it’d been. Days, or seconds. But eventually, there was a soft knock at the door.  
“Sergeant Barnes, Captain Rogers is requesting clearance to enter. He’s asked me to tell you that he’ll leave if you tell him to,” JARVIS announced. Bucky sniffed.  
“Let him in.” Even if it hurt, even if Steve hated him, and of course, _of course he does, he’s gonna leave me, he's gonna find someone else and take our beautiful babies and I'll be all alone and---_ he still needed Steve right now. At least to keep his scent around longer after he’d left. He hugged a quilt closer and buried his face in it as the door opened behind him.

He felt the bed dip with Steve’s weight and he curled tighter around his little bundle. But then-- he felt soft leather touch the back of his neck.  
“Lift your head, please,” Steve murmured. _An order._ Steve’s earlier request had been just that- a request- but this was clear, gentle, and firm; everything Steve’s orders for Bucky always had been. Bucky obeyed, a chill running down his spine. He felt Steve wrap the collar around his throat and buckle it one notch too loose.  
“Tighter,” he whispered. Steve tightened it a little, just enough that Bucky could feel it against his skin all the way around.  
Bucky allowed himself to fall into Steve’s arms, cradled against his chest.

"Now- Bucky, baby, we really do need to talk. Do you think you might be ready now, or do you need more time?” Bucky tucked himself under Steve’s chin and wrapped his arms tightly around his waist. _Not yet, need more time, please don't go--_  
“Please, I just- I just need you to hold me for a while, Stevie. I thought- Anyway, it doesn't matter.”  
“Bucky, of course it matters, Starlight! What did I do wrong? I’ll make it up to you, darlin’, please, just- just let me in,” Steve begged, his voice becoming thick. He held Bucky tight, the quilt wedged between them. After a few minutes, Steve spoke. “I… I thought you were leaving me,” he admitted, “I’m still not convinced you won’t, I- I haven't been good to you, and I’ll never forgive myself for that. Bucky, please- whatever you choose, just… Promise me you’ll be happy. That you’ll move on and find someone who can give you everything you deserve and- Why are you laughing? Bucky, I’m being serious here, I..!” But Bucky’s laughter was already dissolving into tears.  
“I though you were leaving me too,” he cried, slightly muffled against Steve’s button-down.

Steve clutched his mate closer, rubbing circles against his lower back and kissing his hair.  
"I love you," he whispered before kissing Bucky’s forehead. "You're always. _Always_ lookin' out for me, Bucky, and I'm... I'm so grateful. Just wanna make you happy, _M'anamchara._ " Oh. That’s a new one. Bucky looked up at Steve, eyes wide.  
"I- really? You'd call me your soulmate?" The question came out a bit breathless and pathetic-sounding, but Steve didn't seem to care.  
"Of course, Bucky. You're- you're perfect for me. I love you so much more than anything else. You're my everything." Bucky didn't know what to say to that, so he simply snuggled closer and kissed Steve over and over again. " _M'anamchara,"_ Steve whispered every so often until there were tears rushing down Bucky's face.

"I love you," Bucky managed eventually. "I love you _so **much**." _ Steve shushed him. When Bucky looked up, he could've sworn this was the most beautiful he had ever seen Steve. His breath caught in his throat and he reached up to touch his cheek reverently. "Steve..." Steve smiled down at him and it felt like staring into the sun. For some reason, though, Steve stopped smiling. Bucky's brow furrowed. "Why aren't you- Stevie, please smile more, I want to see you smile. Nice big sunshine smile, all for me." Steve indulged him, but it was still touched with concern.  
"You're crying, Buck," he explained. "Just wanted to make sure you were okay." Huh. Bucky hadn't even noticed. He leaned forward and pressed their mouths together softly, reassuring Steve that he was okay, in a relative sense.  
"Thank you, Steve," he whispered.  
"For what?" Steve asked, stroking his cheek gently with the backs of his knuckles.  
"Just- thank you. For caring. And-" he sighed "-just for staying with me. I love you."


End file.
